Social manners

Ms Esther Lim was wondering whether it is polite to clear our trays after we eat. I think it's a innately compulsory act when we eat at fast food restaurants. It is not so pertinent in food courts where the cleaners do so for us. At the same time, it would relieve their load if we do it ourselves. Take Ion's Food Opera for instance. Customers merely take it for granted that they will clear the trays, but due to the immense publicity of the shopping mall and its food tenants, resulting in a surge in the number of customers, the cleaners have problems coping with this task.

I remember observing the American culture when I ate at a fast food restaurant in the US. The customers take the initiative to clear their trays and if someone does not, he will get disapproving vibes from the others. Of course, my parents and I realised that we have to follow suit. This observation stayed with me when I returned to Singapore, and is still part of my value system till today. I try to clear my trays when I eat at fast food restaurants and thank the cleaners at food courts who clear my trays. It may be part of their job but it does not hurt to show them appreciation for it. :)

Mr Soh Teow Kwee was lamenting the rudeness of a lady who had blown her nose in front of him, as they were sharing a table in a food centre. He had asked her to stop blowing her nose when people around her were eating. I feel that she did not do anything very wrong by doing that. He was just being too picky. By writing to the authorities about this triviality, and posing those questions in his letter, he seems to be an uppity elitist where social behaviour is concerned. Of course, the lady was wrong as well. She should have apologised and not been so rude to him. She even challenged him and blew her nose more intensely.

A particular opinion on our National Day Rally

An undergraduate gave her view on the Rally. She lamented the fact that the issues raised were not anything new. Sometimes they are purposely done because people still do not see their importance.

Race and religion are issues which are still not fully understood by Singaporeans. The AWARE saga is a huge piece of evidence. She may have understood them but what about others? Does she know that the webchat on the Rally was mainly on religion? Also, it may have been only one incident, but it could have had far more dire consequences to our nation's security and harmony, if the church leaders had not stepped in with official documents, to quell any misassumption that it was a denomination rather than overenthusiastic individual Christians, who were the masterminds. Moreover, she herself admitted that we merely "theoretically" know what multi-racialism is. The contrasting pictures of our past and present are very meaningful for younger students, so that they do not take our nation for granted. Not everyone is "grateful for what has been done" for her.

The topic on foreign talent had already been spoken on by his father and birthrates is a topic that has been discussed in the newspapers. By asking for these to be mentioned at the Rally, is she not contradicting herself in requesting old issues to be reiterated? Looking at our past achievements is a reminder that we can continue to overcome the various challenges we are facing as well. Call it human psychology but we do need to be brought back to the past so as to allow it to aid us in our future. This form of encouragement is really not as belittling in nature as she perceives it to be.

One united people, even when abroad?

Maria Siow, a reporter stationed in China for CNA, gave two examples on how Chinese Singaporeans can be too exclusive in their group and are thus unaware of Singaporeans of other races. Being the majority race does not mean that they are exempted from instilling unity.

Imagine a Town Council chairman ignoring the needs of an Indian reporter during a press briefing. He spoke throughout the event in Mandarin and eventually embarrassed himself when she had to remind him of the Indian reporter.

The National Day celebrations held in Beijing for the Singaporeans there, also brought out Chinese Singaporeans' ugly side. They said the Pledge in Mandarin even though their Malay friend was with them. She felt so left out that she walked away from them at that moment. They are Chinese Singaporeans and this means that they are fluent in English. English is our first language after all, the first language of all Singaporeans. That was really insensitive of them. So what if they were in China? It was Singapore's birthday, not China's. This only serves to justify the protection Singapore's constitution offers Malays. It may contradict the notion of race equality we advocate, but it is obvious that if the government does not protect them, the other races are not.

My humble thoughts on PM Lee's review of the Aware saga

He labelled it as "an attempt by a religiously motivated group, who shared a strong religious fervour, to enter civil space, take over an NGO(non-governmental organization) it disapproved of, and impose their agenda." That makes the group led by Josie Lau, a deficiently intelligent group. Yes, I am being polite here. What makes them think they can impose their biasedly religious views on a secular group? It may be their attempt to evangelise and to spread God's teachings to others, but this method of doing it is too extreme. Yes, I am a Christian too, in case you are wondering. However, I think they are a disgrace to we Christians. One of the rules set by PM Lee to counter this extremity in religious fervour, so as to prevent it from affecting the overall harmony of the nation is "Rules which apply only to one group cannot be made into laws that apply to everyone." It is a clear message to the group, that frowns upon what they did. Another one is "religion must stay separate from politics." It is probably an instruction to the group not to try that stunt again.

It was definitely "hardly the way to conduct a mature discussion of a sensitive matter where views are deeply divided." They are adults and surely know that it was a sensitive matter. Sexual education usually is. After all, parents try to avoid talking to their children about it. The irony is that most of them are mothers. As adults, they should have known too that their method was immature and unbecoming. It was practically a usurpation of power. Do they think they are in one of the Dynasties of China? They are in Singapore, unfortunately for them. "not whether we can express and propagate those beliefs and values". Isn't it rather subjective to focus on evangelization at the expense of respect to others? "Respect and recognition for others who do not share the same set of ideals are absolutely vital". "Norms of tolerance are(sic) necessary if we are to co-exist even with people with very different values. It requires deliberate, cultivated restraint". Sometimes it is more right not to fight for our rights.

"an attitude of 'live and let live' has to prevail, actions flowing from religious beliefs and faith practices must not offend against the imperative of maintaining and enhancing the precious mores of multi-racialism in our society". They are not children and so they should know that "Stronger religious fervour can have side effects which must be managed carefully, particularly in a multi-religious society." This is self-explanatory. "faith communities continue to recognise and respect the virtues and imperatives of diversity, respect and tolerance".

Thank goodness, there were "many Christians" who were worried about the further implications this would cause. They were at least more rational. To add to it, the National Council of Churches and our Archbishop issued official statements to quell the gradually erosive wave on our unity.

Editor's note: It seems as if I'm regurgitating the quotes from the PM's speech but I selected these particular ones, because I feel they are outstanding on their own and can immediately explain my view on the Aware saga. Of course, I have included my own thoughts in this entry too.

A journalistic venture into another job industry

A reporter was given the assignment of using her resume to apply for a hypothetical job in a totally different industry. Ground rules were issued: she could not accept any job offers and could not apply for jobs requiring professional qualifications. She has an Honours degree in English Literature, as I have. As a result, graduates like us have problems applying for jobs with specific qualifications, because we have a general degree. At the same time, it enables us to work only in the Arts sector, if we want to make complete use of it.

She applied for almost every job in the market. She found out in the process that good communication skills, which our degree equips us with, is a skill that is sought after. She made up for her lack of work experience in the stipulated areas with a willing attitude to learn the ropes of the jobs. I remember that this same attitude helped me land a job completely unrelated to my degree. My reason for changing industries was to take a break from the one I was in.

She also learnt that the job offers she had received were mostly on sales of insurance policies and real estate. Perhaps her communication skills stood her in good stead. She had to do profiling tests as part of the selection process. I remember having to do one too, when I was applying for a job to do with managerial duties. Of course, I later discovered that it was an insurance company I was applying to. Insurance companies are the majority of potential employers who peruse my online resume. What is it with their fascination with someone who holds a Literature degree and has been teaching for most of her working life? Perhaps it is also my communication skills that attract them. Unfortunately for them, I am not someone who enjoys working in the sales industry. It was while I was doing the test, that I realised that my calling was to go back to teaching. Every answer I put pointed the way to that.

She had applied to a company that sells lavatory products and the comment she received over her status as a mother seems rather discriminatory. She had been told that maternity leave represented "a disturbance in the workplace". Employers nowadays are supposed to be more pro-family. This company seems to be the exception. Productivity and work efficiency are what matters to it.

The result of her venture was that she had received only four offers out of a hundred applications. It is also a cold, hard truth for me to learn. :S

Xenophobia in some Singaporeans

I've heard of Singaporeans being unhappy over foreigners competing with them in school and at work. In school, locals see them as strong rivals where examination grades are concerned. They claim that teachers show favouritism towards the foreign students. I believe there is a reason for that. Foreigners have a better studying attitude as they are aware of the amount of funds used in their move to study here. Locals tend to take their education for granted. If the tables were turned, locals would exhibit the same characteristics in a foreign country. Locals should instead use their presence as motivation to do better, shouldn't they?

At work, foreigners have been accused of snatching the rice bowls of local workers. Is that a fact, or did it stem from insecurity? This attitude can cost locals their jobs, in their refusal to co-operate with their foreign colleagues. Such is the perception towards foreigners, who aim to earn a living as we do. Truly, this is a narrow-minded mindset. It also indicates distrust towards our government's concern for our welfare, doubting its desire to provide for its people.

Many privileges have been granted to the locals and some are even at the expense of the foreigners. Should we not be grateful?! They have borne the brunt of things. Our minister mentor brought out a very harsh truth, that if our own standard of English is not high enough, we cannot expect the foreigners to have a high level of English as well. First look at the plank in your own eye before the speck of dust in your brother's eye.

Speech sound

The controversy over a deejay being asked to leave due to her oral skills, causes me to recall the way I speak and the views of others on it. Over the course of my degree, I had been exposed to lecturers of different nationalities. They ranged from Irish, British and American, to Indian. As a result, I unconsciously lapse into a tinge of the Western accents when I speak. This is not a deliberate adoption of the accents, by the way.

Whenever I take cabs, the drivers seem to think I am not Singaporean as a result. I assume they encounter most who do not speak as good English? Yes, I am rather good at English, thanks to my passion for the language. When I speak Mandarin, they seem to think I am from China. I believe it is because I interact with students from China and use Mandarin to translate certain English terms, for their comprehension. In the process of teaching them, I learn new Chinese words from them.

Travelling on the MRT just gets worse.

Actually witnessing able-bodied ladies who sit in the reserved seats, where the only baggage(pun) they carry is a shopping bag or their handbag, is really irritating. They try to cover up their misdeed by either using their handphone, sleeping or talking to their companion. This detestable behaviour simply cynicises my desire to ask for a seat. I cannot stand too long due to my leg condition. I feel tempted to take a picture of such outrageous behaviour but I don't want to taint my camera with their images. Can you blame me for loudly remarking on these idiotic people?!

The horrid manners of MRT commuters has taken a new turn, with people turning a blind eye to the sight of a girl being molested. I would have been incensed if I had been there. The sole person who tried to prevent the crime had no backup from the rest of the people present! Can you imagine how selfish Singaporeans have become?!

Teaching methods

2 NIE researchers are experimenting with a way to teach Math to primary school students. Instead of using Mathematical methods and steps to solve problem sums, which is incidentally the nemesis of most students, the suggested way is to underline the requirements of the question through discussions, before attempting to solve the problem sums. This will be especially useful for students who are weak in English. Once they understand what they have to do through the question, it will be easier to get the Mathematical answer. Speaking their thought processes aloud will be a tremendous help to their journey towards getting the answer. This is somewhat like literary analysis.

The strange thing is that I've been doing that with my tuition students. Hmm. No one told me to do that. It is my instinct as a teacher. It is true that this additional step will take up time, especially when teachers in school have lesson schedules to meet. It is probably better to do this for tuition. Then again, in order to help the weak students, it can be done during remedial lessons.

A reader wrote in to comment on an article on how a teacher had insulted her student. The letter exudes hurt and bitter anger over his own personal experience. The last part reveals his inability to get over his primary school experience. He requested the teacher to be removed from her job, rather than just given a warning.

I too, had similar experiences in school. It was only when I had kind teachers during my A'level days, that I finally managed to attain a pass for my Math and Accounting. As a teacher now, I ensure that I am as kind to my students as those teachers were to me. Perhaps the reader did not have the opportunity to get such kind teachers to heal his hurt.

Jakarta blast has not affected SG very much

It's "interesting " to read that Singapore's major hotels have not increased their security levels after this tragedy, even though Singapore has Marriot and Ritz-Carlton hotels. The marketing director of Marriot and the public relations director may have said otherwise but I'm not surprised if they did it just to dispel fears from the public and for public relations purposes. After all, there are no visible signs that security measures have been implemented. Perhaps the reason is to give potential terrorists a false impression, but is it not better to deter them from committing any audacious attacks and to assure the public of their safety? I believe that this applies to Tanglin Club too.

The rose among the thorns is American Club which has always upheld a strict security level ever since the 911 incident. Kudos to it!

An army major wrote a letter to critique these hotels. I applaud his gutsy response. That should 'wake' the management up. The hotels are certainly lapsed in their security. At the same time, he is objective enough to suggest measures for them to implement.

A Malay reader wrote in too and suggested some good ways to improve our security levels. He feels that schools should include anti-terrorism as part of the curriculum, and security should be increased at public buildings and our transport system.

I am glad to note that hotels are now involved in enhancing security levels. Lee Kwee Swung is a good example of being viligant towards guests who enter his hotel. He secured a man who had a dangerous weapon on him. At the Hotel Security Awards, a new campaign was launched to ensure higher levels, through the increase in drills for the staff and the greater sense of knowledge pertaining to times of evacuation.

Learning safety the hard way

The police in UK are trying to teach residents a lesson in protecting their homes from burglars. They furtively enter the homes, posing as burglars, and surprise the residents to prove their point that the homes are vulnerable to criminals. Then they give a lecture to the residents.

I support this idea. I feel that it will better retain its ultimate message in the residents' minds. The shock effect caused by these "break-ins" will be strong enough to imbue in the residents, the need to lock the doors and windows of their homes. It may be invasive to their privacy but it is for their own good. Merely distributing leaflets on crime prevention in homes is not as effective. After all, how many residents will read them from start to finish? Besides catching criminals, the police have a duty to protect the safety of the residents too. Anyway, burglars are also criminals.

Intellectual Snob's comments

She is lucky enough to have the means and opportunity to study abroad. However, that does not give her the perogative to condescend the local students here. Education and knowledge are not granted to cause arrogance, but to be used for the patient welfare of others. Let us give her the benefit of the doubt. There could be local graduates who fit her portrayal, but not every one does.

I have a friend who was educated in top schools in Singapore as well. However, she chose to study here even though she could go abroad. She has turned out to be nothing like how Intellectual Snob portrays the locals as. She is extremely smart, civilized, stylish, cultured, artistic, intelligent, well-travelled, knowledgeable, educated and well-liked. Hah, beat that, Intellectual Snob!

It is not wrong to be opinionated about the world we live in, but we must respect people's feelings in the process of doing so!

Wash and Win Promotion

This campaign was implemented by Tan Tock Seng Hospital. There are prizes offered in this promotion, including a car and a TV.

Though it is a good incentive to encourage Singaporeans to practise more stringent personal hygiene in this time of the H1N1 virus, I wonder if it is because Singaporeans are naturally nonchalant and too relaxed even in time of crises, such that they are not bothered to take precautions in this time. Charity shows also offered prizes as incentives to encourage Singaporeans to donate money. It seems such a sad state of affairs that Singaporeans need motivation to do what is right and good.

My student feels that Singaporeans are aware of the importance of taking up preventive meaures in this time. She gave an example where they actually wore masks during the flight she was on.

Family tragedy

A 7-year-old boy was killed by his dad on Father's Day, the climax to 2 months of abuse. He lay brain dead and eventually, he was taken off life support. What a summer for the boy! Instead of having a fun holiday, he was subjected to repeated abuse and then killed.

The father's girlfriend too, just stood by, and did nothing to stop the abuse and murder. Obviously, she does not love children. The mother of the boy was terribly upset and angry with the father. She is divorced from her husband. He had been given custody of the boy for the summer and instead, he became a monster to the boy. What kind of a father is he?

Students sporting tattoos

Reading some of the thoughts on this subject in the New Paper causes me to lament the perceptions of teenage girls towards love. Dion thinks that "boys like girls with tattoos". Those who do judge by appearance but it is the character that will determine a person's worth and that will last. She feels more sexy and attractive due to her tattoo. True sexiness and attraction are not based on your appearance.

A 15-year-old is of the opinion that tattoos reflect strength. He may be using them to counter his insecurities, as a 30-year-old secondary school teacher and a tertiary level teacher in her 40s imply. Thomas feels that they help him look tough. He is probably trying to evade potential bullies but it just shows that he is using tattoos to conceal his inner fear. Sometimes, facing problems head-on permanently eradicates them. Dylan Nah thinks that getting one will not kill him.

Really, to be a strong person is to believe in yourself, to have courage to face life's challenges and to come out of them a better person. A tattoo is a mere decoration on your skin. It would only offer superficial strength at the most. A person needs lasting strength to live. At the same time, its impression of strength may deter people from getting to know you, as they may become afraid of you. Also, when such teenagers like Thomas and Dylan go out into the working force in future, they may be shunned or avoided due to some others' pre-determined assumptions of such people, that they are ex-offenders. Their intentions will then have back-- fired and their spirits will be killed, that is, if they cannot get on with life as result.

Brendan Chia got one out of peer pressure and also to feel belonged to his clique of friends. Now they do not keep in contact with him. What is the point of ruining your body just to keep your friends? Should true friendship not be based on appearance but on bonding and genuine feelings?

Another Thomas now regrets that he had considered getting a tattoo as it did not turn out to his expectations. After all, his friend was the one who did it for him. Who else can he blame? Amateurs do not always produce consistent results. He also fears his parents finding it. Then why did he even consider it in the first place? It is too late for regrets.

This is my personal opinion. I feel that tattoos taint the body; God's temple. However, I am not surprised if these teenagers have been influenced by the programmes Miami Ink or LA Ink, which portray tattoos as artistic , meaningful and trendy.

My student feels that having a tattoo is not necessary and not 'cool'. The pain at erasing it should the decision arise will be intense, and this is what she will use to dissuade her friends from getting one. She feels that it is not good for the skin too.

Random observations.

I was waiting for a friend at the bus stop when I saw this irritating couple deliberately delay traffic. One of them was alighting from a cab and the other was bidding him farewell. They kissed as a gesture of farewell. As they were obstructing the traffic flow, drivers started blasting their car horns. They retaliated by extending the duration of their kiss without bothering about the reactions of people around them. That was clearly an act of pettiness and revenge. It was so immature. The people around me were commenting on their selfish act and now that I think about it, I should have snapped a photograph of them. *evil laughter*

I used to think that Singaporeans are generally self-absorbed but this lady proved my assumption wrong. My dad and I were trying to look for a place and she heard us as we spoke. She clarified our doubt without any qualms. This is what initiative is about. It can be shown in the simple things around us; by making a person's day.

The Hot Index(June 19th 2009)

A property agent sending rude messages to clients only goes to show how unprofessional and immature he is. Even if they opted out of doing business with him, it is their right and he should respect it. Instead, he shows how petty he is by this gesture. His firm has issued him warnings but he is continuing to send them. Sooner or later, he will be sacked and have no customers due to his attitude.

A cosplay event requires people to dress up in costumes of various characters. An example is females dressing like Lolitas, ie. making themselves up to look like little girls. A man wore a military uniform for this purpose. It is an inappropriate choice of dressing because it belittles the actual definition of an army personnel: integrity, loyalty to the country and bravery. To wear an army unform is to insinuate that the army is insignificant enough to be used for such an event, making fun of it in the process. A girl wore the top half of an army uniform, which is worse. Was she using it to pose in a provocative manner? That is such an insult to the army!

Residents were irate at a wedding held on early Sunday morning, as the blasting of the car's horn had disrupted their sleep. I suspect one of the families involved in the celebration was Teochew. Teochews have to wake up at the crack of dawn as part of the wedding customs. It may have been disruptive for the residents but at the same time, they could have realised that this was the reason for it, and tried to practise some forebearance.

A pet as an unjust scapegoat.

I was heartbroken to read about this family who alienated their pet dog just because a doctor identified it as the cause of the grandchild's allergy. They used to love it before the incident. Now they don't even bathe it, walk it, carry it or even pat it! They leave it confined in a corner. Re-reading the article really breaks my heart, even as I type about it now.

As a dog-lover, it deeply affects me. This is pure selfishness on the part of the family. Just because a doctor identified the dog as the cause of the allergy, the dog is now relegated to a non-existent nature. What about all the love and joy it had given to the family before that?? The irony is that the dog doesn't stop yearning for affection and love. It still gets excited when there are visitors. I would have given up on humanity long ago, if I were the dog. The family seems to be no better than beasts, in the way they treat the dog. Even this doctor who wrote the letter states that it should not be treated as such, being the cause of the allergy. He labels the treatment as inhumane and says that it is innocent. The dog did not purposely cause the allergy on the child. Why should it be punished in the first place?!

Also, when asked to give it up for adoption, they claim that they can't bear to let it go. If they really love the dog, they should at least take care of it, or let someone more deserving do so. Can someone please do something before the dog suffers any further?! The family should be fined or imprisoned, like how America does to owners who neglect their animals.

MOH hygiene poster

I first saw it at Serangoon MRT station(Circle line entrance) and was intrigued by how it effectively brought the message of washing our hands to people. It may look repulsive with the hand depicted in a horrifying way, but fear can be a source of motivation to do what should be done.

A reader wrote in to question the fact that it had been placed near a primary school, and that it would be too frightening for the children who see it. I beg to differ. The visual would make them afraid of what would happen to them, should they refrain from washing their hands. It is an effective and excellent way to educate them, with the H1N1 virus so dominant. The present generation of children learn better with visuals. Then again, the advertisement may not appeal to all youths. My student feels that it will not make a difference to her hygiene practices.

Imposed blindness, we Singaporeans

Upon reading "A Pitiful Passerby", whose headline was obviously laced with approved sarcasm, I must say that the lady who asked for directions to the mosque was too engrossed in her own affairs. Where is the community spirit? Would it have hurt to ask if an ambulance had been called, at the very least? She may have been late for her appointment but if so, then it would have been for a good reason. I am reminded of the story of the Good Samaritan.

If there was already a crowd helping the injured man, then by not helping, she would be refraining from adding to the chaos already caused. However, with just 2 helpers, another would not hurt.

Recycling in SIngapore

I recycle things on a regular basis and am so committed to it that when I did not receive a plastic bag for this purpose, I actually wrote to the organization about it. Thus, when I read an article on the type of things found for recycling purposes, I was repulsed at what people threw into the bins.

Decomposed and leftover food is definitely NOT meant to be recycled. Do the culprits know the meaning of "recycled" in the first place?! It also contaminates the other things that CAN be recycled, thus making them useless. They are another type of environmentally destructive citizens.

At the same time, Britain had sent its recycled rubbish to Brazil and some of the things that were discovered were used condoms, syringes and diapers. Obviously, Brazil sent them back to Britain. What does this show about Britain? It is supposed to be civilized, and in the early 20th Century, it sought to civilise its colonies too. Its elitism has definitely deteriorated with such an act! How can it expect to gain respect in this way? It is also insulting Brazil by assuming that Brazil does not know the meaning of 'recycled plastic", besides showing that about itself.

No photography allowed

It does get annoying when I, a photography fanatic, am barred from taking pictures of window displays. It is purely for aesthetic value that I snap a picture of something that catches my attention. However, it is perhaps due to security issues that this is imposed, which is understandable, since terrorism is a prevalent problem in the world. It is ironic though, that I was able to do so in London.

Then I came across this article in New Paper, where shopkeepers explain that they are afraid of trade competitors planning to plagiarise their ideas, but allow tourists to take pictures. This explains why I was able to do so in London.

Never look down on manual jobs

A managing director of a firm wrote about how he became a gravedigger to fund his education. Though it may be a literally dirty and tiring, mundane job, it brought him to where he is now. In the process, he learnt to treasure humanity, even though he was dealing with corpses. He would safeguard the bodies from prying and leering eyes of the opposite sex, and those of children were especially poignant for him. Such a job taught him about life and death. It is the simple things that are the most profound.

A survey showed that Singaporeans shun manual and mundane jobs such as this. However, the fact remains that if every Singaporean were to have this attitude, life would not be so smooth for us. So kudos to the road sweepers, toilet cleaners and bus drivers, among other such people who make life so easy for us!

Horrible manners of MRT commuters

The newspaper articles that carry incidents on able-bodied commuters not giving up these reserved seats to those who really need them, ignites a sense of injustice and yet resignation within me. I may not be pregnant, elderly or disabled, but I have psoriatic arthritis in my knees, which causes me not to be able to stand or walk for too long a time. My youthful looks conceals this condition, I am aware, and seriously, I cannot be bothered to fight for these seats with such selfish commuters who do not bother about other needy people around them. With such attitudes, they will probably think I am lying, knowing the extremity of their attitudes, which cannot be eradicated by any methods the government may come up with.

When I was in London, the commuters readily gave up their seats to my father who is a senior citizen. The priority seats have actually been left empty, with the commuters preferring to stand! This is a practically non-existent occurrence in Singapore. We may think that people in the West lack basic manners and values, which include respecting one's elders, due to their liberal mindset. Well, this proves our assumption wrong!

I was appalled to read about this youth who told an elderly lady off for having asked him to give up his seat to her. What kind of education is he receiving? Aren't his parents and teachers doing their jobs? When a youth goes this awry in his mindset and attitudes, we can only blame the people in authority in his life. This is why Singapore has a long way to go in this area, as compared to even London.

Yet another youth, this time a girl, was reported to have snubbed this idea of giving seats up to the elderly. She blatantly ignored an old man's need to have her seat. She was sitting in a a seat meant for the needy. What is there left to say? I hope I don't have the misfortune to encounter such people when I am on the train, for I don't know how I will react to such inconsiderate and idiotic people.

There is a line between being protective towards your girlfriend and obeying the rules set by the government, as a citizen. A man was doing the right thing by telling a girl not to eat on the train, by pointing to a sign that emphasises it. Her stupid boyfriend challenged him to a fight as a result. What kind of citizen is he? I have so much to say about him but I shall control myself. If he really cares for his girlfriend, he would have stopped her instead of having to see her embarrassed. These type of guys are not fictional, mind you. I know people who would tell their friends their flaws with the very best of intentions. Unfortunately, they are not appreciated. The couple is obviously uncouth, uneducated, uncivilized and uncultured.

I note too that there was no mention of the other commuters stepping in to side with the man. Hmm. I am very sure though that he reacted to this challenge in a calm, civilized, cultured and collected manner(alliteration!)

I also feel repulsed at reading an article about this father who refused to give up his seat to someone who needed it more, despite being asked to by a fellow commuter other than the person in need. His son was next to him and that is indeed being a bad role model for his son. It is no wonder that Singapore has a long way to go in being a gracious society, with such parents who teach their children the wrong behaviour and values! Before deciding to be a parent, one must first be aware of his actions and behaviour towards others, so that he can inculcate the right values in his children! If he has to change himself as a result, then that is only necessary for the ultimate goal of being a good role model!

Now even just a simple gesture like moving farther into the cabin is scorned. Someone had done the socially responsible thing by asking the commuters blocking the entrance to move in, but his request was ignored. What is happening to society?! It has become so selfish!

Father protests against his son's exclusion from AYG

A father wrote to MCDYS about nominating another youth over his son for the 400m race. I wonder if his son knows about this move. It is rather embarrassing for his son. It may stem from love and belief, but is a unnecessary move, I feel. This is really the last resort but I have a feeling that the father did it out of impulse.

There are unseen reasons as to why MCDYS chose someone else. It may not be because his son was not as good as the other youth, but perhaps because MCDYS wanted to give him a chance, for example. The man's son is not the only runner that can meet the criteria for the selection. As a mature adult, the man should be able to understand this and counsel his son should the latter regard this news as a mark of his failure in life.

Singaporean accent, not Singlish

I am aware that we are known to be able to adapt to different ways of speaking according to our different audiences. That means we can revert to Mandarin whenever we speak to mainland Chinese who work here, or even Singlish whenever we speak to people who are not so good at speaking proper English. However, this compromises my ability to speak proper English. Now that I am going to London, I am an ambassador of my country and must project a positive image. This to me, means that I must brush up even more on my oral English skills. Sometimes, I do get irritated when I hear improper English being spoken by teachers and journalists.

I am not referring to our local accent but to our lack of speaking grammatically correct English. We can speak proper English in our local accent, as Lee Kwan Yew does in England. Singlish is a unique dialect of ours but its little expressions can render our oral English improper in its sounding. Ironically, I used to be ashamed of our accent and had tried to pick up the accents of the people in UK and US. However, London just had Singapore Day almost a month ago and somehow it made me develop a sense of pride in our local accent. The strange thing is that foreigners actually find our accent intriguing. Thus, as I leave for London tomorrow, I go with the thought that it is our accent that makes us Singaporeans but it is my proper English that should show how proud I am to have it as my first language.

Then again, the environment I am in has a great influence on the way I speak English. Once I came back to Singapore, I reverted to Singlish. When I am with Singaporeans, in another country, I do the same. It takes effort to speak proper English all the time, but for the sake of my students, I will try! I've taken the first step by watching more documentaries, so that I can listen to the narrators speak in their impeccable English :)

My student asked me how I feel when I hear Singaporeans speak Singlish. I feel as if I am with familiar people in a foreign country but at the same time, I feel ashamed of the improper way English is spoken.

Criticism about SG

Some of the comments featured in Sunday's Lifestyle have caused me to be indignant. They came from two foreign ministers, referring to our size. It is extremely unfair to have said what they said, but look how we have proven ourselves to them. Our port, airport and quality of life is world-class! They can't beat that. Hah!

Aware saga

At first, I didn't feel anything worth writing about with reference to this controversy but as the chronology of events was traced, I question the fact that the ousted committee headed by Josie Lau did not bring up their misgivings at the meetings, but rashly staged a coup. I am a Christian, and am against pre-marital sex and homosexuality too, but I feel they were ruled by their emotions, which caused them to do such an uncalled thing like this. Even Irene Ang, who is a member, told them that she was Christian but also opposed their move.

Aware is after all, a secular organization and Singapore, being a multi-racial society with high tolerance for its different cultures and set of beliefs, has alas such overenthusiastic people who were not rational and objective enough to realise the consequences of their action, though well-intentioned. They collaborated as fellow church-goers to overthrow the ruling committee because they strongly disagreed with the sexual education programme implemented for schools. Even their pastor attempted to garner support for them in his congregation. They overlooked the fact that they should not have imposed their religious views on a secular group, despite being members of it.

My further thoughts on the pastor are that his request for prayers for Josie Lau and her husband was a warm gesture but it could have been tweaked towards asking for strength for them to do the right thing. This would have made things more objective.

This move almost further tainted the seemingly negative impression people have of some Christians, as aggressive in converting people to be believers of Christ. However, the stands made by Christan churches of how religion should be kept out of secular affairs, reflect the fact that the ousted committee, made up of a majority of members from the same church, has drawn flak for its move to impose its dogma on a secular organization's dealings. It should have known better than to be such crusaders, which is an unnecessary decision in the first place. Even the other churches are not on its side, even though they are of the same faith. I hope it now understands that it was doing the wrong thing. Obviously, it did this on impulse, since its members weren't adequately prepared to answer questions thrown at them, and had to consult the legal advisers hired. Thank goodness the overwhelming cohort of members stepped in to set things right, and thus the ousted committee agreed to step down for the sake of much needed harmony in our civil society.

I don't know if my timid and passive nature has caused this relief towards this positive turn of events, as some people feel that their courage is to be lauded. The end doesn't actually justify the means though. Was the programme so unethical that a takeover was imminent, without first bringing their views up? The media's presentation of some clauses in the programme that the "feminist mentor" found extremely disturbing, enlightened my mind with the result that there was no such need to conduct such a violent move. It seems that the ousted committee did not trust the ruling committee enough to listen to their misgivings, and decided to immediately stage a coup as well as recruit new members for Aware instead.

Also, being a "feminist mentor" seems to undermine the Biblical teaching of how women should behave. As she is a Christian, she should know what it consists. Eve was to be a helper of Adam, not equal to him. This implies that feminism, which essentially fights for the equal rights of women, is against the teaching. To call herself that, even if it was to cater to the secular world's perception of women, is inappropriate, isn't it? This is my two cents' worth pertaining to such a terminology employed by Dr Thio.

I also deplore the fact that Josie Lau blatantly disregarded DBS's warning not to run for President. Now that she has been ousted, she can finally set out to concentrate on her Vice-president post in the bank, as she should have done instead of accepting the election as AWARE President. She did not want to comment on this public rebuke by her employer, perhaps nursing a guilty conscience? Now that she has been given a new post by DBS, is this the consequence of her earlier stubborn wilfulness?

The fact that she could not fathom why people are against a group of Christians from the same church taking over a secular organization to cause it to have the same belief as their church's, shows her lack of depth in understanding the full consequences of her action. She wanted to see only the result she aimed to achieve, which stemmed from her own set of beliefs, but not the other results like the move incurring the wrath of people and her disrespect for the secular nature of the organization, by imposing her faith's teachings on its agenda.

As AWARE strives to move on, via the leadership of Dana Lam, her committee has decided not to press charges against the ousted committee for spending $80K more than the amount the constitution allows them to. This is an act of graciousness and humility to the ousted committee. She gives them the benefit of the doubt by attributing their total expenses to the lack of experience and stress in running the group. Her committee has also managed to recover the expenses through donations, membership fees and discounts off the bills, earning a profit in the process. They can definitely run AWARE better and the ousted committee knows this. They have not offered to help in its programmes.

The present committee has also submitted some new rules for their constitution, so as to prevent another irreverent tussle of leadership. One of them is that members must have been in the organization for at least two years before running for election. It makes perfect sense.

Unprofessional operators

The operators who laughed at David for seeking help to be saved from his bushland surroundings have a lot to answer for. They caused his death as they did not take his pleas seriously enough. He had no way of telling them his exact location due to his condition, and they thought that he was playing a trick on them. It is understandable if they had previously encountered such incidents but the way the organization dealt with his death makes me gnash my teeth. A mere apology is barely enough for someone who lost his life. Granted, a statement to avoid similar responses to future calls was issued, but this, coupled with the apology, is not a proper response towards the death. They should offer some form of compensation or donation to the family too.

What is our country becoming?

The couple who walked down Holland Village without any clothes were obviously disregarding the laws governing our country. It disgusts me to know that the lady is a Singaporean. She may have been influenced by the liberal attitudes towards sexuality in Sweden where she studies, but being back in her homeland means that she should be aware of its laws unlike the man.

The teen who posted bedroom videos online was clearly obsessed with Pet Society. To flaunt her body for virtual gifts to be given to her virtual pet is appalling.It does not justify the end goal. She does not know how to respect and love her God-given body. The men who actually take on this exchange are also people who do not know how to respect women as they should be.

The group of students who irked Xu Huifong on the bus irk me too. She had "gently" reminded them to dispose of their bags but their response is truly unbecoming. The girl's chant especially, irks me to no end. She is daring enough to mock the civic-conscious commuter in an outright manner. I hope CCSS identifies her and she is severely dealt with. Counselling is not enough.

This is a clear disregard of fellow citizens. I'm heartened to know though that the boy retrieved his rubbish and disposed some of it, and that the commuter was eagle-eyed enough to note the school initials. It is so very ironic that the girls did not do anything about it. Girls are supposed to be more considerate. What nature is our society hurling towards?

The NS man who ranted against the army for ruining his future when he was discovered smuggling a drug into the camp is ridiculously unrepentant. He had already ruined it by committing this act, in case he did not know.
Probably if it had been undiscovered, he would have been smug about it. If that were the case, his character would have still remained tainted, which is the more important thing.

Miss USA finalist being mocked

She was asked a question on whether all the states should legalise gay marriages. She made a stand and said that marriage should be between a man and a woman. I sure hope that she was not labelled as stupid for this reason. I myself, believe in the same concept of marriage.

Her only fault was that she failed to answer the question. Besides stating her belief of what a marriage constitutes, she repeated the question via the options pertaining to marriage which are available for Americans. The suggested answer though, as given by the judge who asked her the question, smacks of political correctness. It is an evasion of the question for this ultimate goal. It implies that winning a pageant is dependent on diplomatic opinion, instead of sincere and convicted personal belief.

A successful school?

Zaveed Husref wrote on how Victorians are unjustly criticized for their failure to clear trays in public eating areas. I somewhat disagree with his points. Ms Tan is not narrow-minded in making that assumption. Students, especially in their school uniforms, are judged in society for their ability to uphold their school values through their behaviour. Those students have caused their school to fail in its mission. They are not gentlemen, which does include the act of clearing trays. Such an elite school is bound to be judged through its students. Does this writer seem a little naive in presuming otherwise?

It would do the staff crew a good turn if trays were cleared by the customers, as people in the West do. It is not a matter of disrupting the job scope of the staff. This is referring more to fast-food restaurants. Why conform to the majority of people who neglect to clear trays? To clear them only based on one's own convenience speaks of a selfish mindset.

The numerous medals and rankings won by the school is not something to be excessively proud of though. This cannot replace nobility of character and civic-consciousness in its students. Is the criticism on the students truly harsh? The writer seems to wallow in the elitism that being a Victorian brings, and think that academic excellence and achievements are everything in a person's life. "Victorians...should be allowed the occasional lack of perfection..."? It seems to imply that Victorians are flawless except in certain incidents like this. Smacks of arrogance, I feel. A person is truly successful when he is noble in character and does good to people, not when he is academically and professionally excellent. It is even worse to behold a person who thinks he is superior because he holds a degree and works for a well-recognized company, but in actual fact, his degree is not as good as others' and his character/treatment of others need to be tweaked.

At the same time, I do agree that their conversation replaced their awareness of carrying out a civic-minded act. I certainly do hope that this was an isolated incident.

In broad daylight? How daring!

The couple at East Coast Park having oral sex repulses me to no end. If they really can't keep their mouths off each other, they can do it at home or in a hotel room. By doing it in the open at a place where families usually gather at, they are really advocating that their act is a good thing and may cause children to follow suit. Obviously, they don't bother about this hidden message they are conveying and are merely giving in to their selfish, fleshly desires after having been sexually and emotionally aroused. What an odious pair!

This also pertains to the two naked men committing a sex act in the lift and void deck of a HDB block.

Singapore's 'Edison Chen'

Gary Ng is a man who films his sexual partners and posts the video of their sexual act online. When questioned on criticism towards his deed, he attributes it to jealousy of him. What a naive thought! He does not seem to realise that it is nothing to be proud of and that he is being immoral. This pride is further manifested by the usage of his real name.

He even films them without their knowledge even when they disallow him from doing so. That's sheer betrayal of trust! Women usually agree to have sex with men they trust. He claims he cares for their future by editing away their faces in the videos but that is an audacious lie! If he really does, he would have respected their decision not to be filmed.

Criticism against condoms to counter Aids

Aids campaigners have spoken out against the Pope for staunchly expressing that condoms merely worsen the surge of Aids. I strongly disagree with their opinion. It is not because I am a Roman Catholic but that I see the truth in his stand. Condoms are not 100% effective in preventing the ejaculation of sperms into the vagina and there are other forms of sex such as oral sex to indulge in, which can cause Aids. The best method is really sexual abstinence unless procreation comes into play, or sexual monogamy.

"Incredible" service

The editor of Digital Life wrote about how a bank's staff member misinterpreted her handwriting and subsequently blotched her cheque transaction, causing her to pay out 10 times the actual amount. I agree with the editor that the staff member should have fallen back on the other details in the cheque if she was unsure about a particular detail. Her explanation seems to reflect a lack of thoroughness and professionalism, and I get the feeling that the staff member was not completely apologetic about her mistake.

I was rather appalled at this incident when reading about it.

Interviewing potentials

Virdi Bhupinder wrote a letter to question the manner in which job interviewers conduct their sourcing for applicants. He feels that some questions they ask are absurd: Please send us your photo, What is your race and Can you speak Mandarin for a front-line job?

I partially agree with his opinion. Asking for his photo is a natural part of the selection process. First impressions through a person's features and physical appearance can tell others more about him. The question about his race is redundant though. His name already gives an indication of it. His ability to speak Mandarin is also evident from his name, but it is not necessarily accurate. Some non-Chinese have learnt to speak it. It may be an intrinsic part of the job to have this ability. I feel he has not thoroughly examined the rationale behind the questions.

Cheating by society's role models!

Stomp featured the photograph of this pair of parents colouring a picture on their son's behalf in an art competition. The boy was playing at a playground. The father even took photographs when the boy received a prize for their work.

This is preposterous! If the boy is not ready to take part in such a contest, they should not have entered his name in the first place. They are being cheating embodiments here. If this is their way of loving him, it is a dishonest way and they are teaching him the wrong values. Being there for their son does not mean doing everything for him, and breaking rules in the process. He will never learn what personal responsibility and independence are in this case. What is more, announcements had been made for parents not to help their children in the contest but this pair of parents audaciously disregarded them.

My mother did sew a pencil case and a skirt on my behalf for my school assignments, because I am hopeless at art. That is bad enough, I admit but this is worse. It is a competition with prizes awarded. Thank goodness future entries done by the children's parents will be disqualified to maintain fairness.

Disability discrimination

Cerrie Burnell has been accused of scaring kids with her one-armed body. What an argument! Is it her fault that she was born with just one arm? Do her critics regard her feelings when they accuse her?

I think it is a form of exposure for the kids, to know that there are such unfortunate people who do not let their disabilities hinder their desires to live life. I do not think her critics have any justification in their arguments. The father who was worried that his daughter may get nightmares is paranoid, I feel. His daughter is merely learning about the reality out there, and even if she does not see it now, she will see it sooner or later. I think parents like him should have used the opportunity to field her queries and to teach her to sympathise with Cerrie. Two years old is the age when children start learning about things around them.

I agree with some viewers who applaud her for her courage. She is really using her own disability to show that it does not make her any different from the other hosts on the programme. I am also heartened that BBC does not discriminate her as a result. Indeed, as she says, these parents are just frightened of her lack of features but as parents, they should be mature enough to deny their fears in order to educate their children on her disability. They can even confess that they are afraid of the sight, but that requires humility and courage. I'm proud of her for choosing to see good in the controversy surrounding her and for seeing the importance of being a good role model. She willingly accepts her difference from others too, to the extent that she would not change it even if she had the chance to. She is actually a better role model than these parents, if I may say so!

It is so sad to note that disabled parts go to able-bodied actors instead in stage productions. Society should be made more aware of the fact that disabled actors are just as good at acting and hosting than able-bodied ones. Even the programme controller advocates her warm and natural characteristics as the criteria for having employed her. Why can't these parents look beyond her disability, at her beauty within? Sir Bert Massie hit the nail on its head when he labelled the parents as "ignorant and prejudiced" and expressed that they lack responsibility in making their children the scapegoats for their biases. It is bad enough that they do not want to educate their children on what is natural. What kind of parents are they?

Riding the MRT

After having read Tan Boon Leng's letter on taking the MRT, I feel that she should be the one laughed at, and not Kam Choo Choo. Yes, she may be dwelling on the realism involved in taking the MRT but I think it reflects an inability to dwell on the blessings in life, and a lack of travel on train systems in other countries. Dorian Axel Manrique Teo is a contrasting testimony to this.

Kam Choo Choo, on the other hand, has learnt to appreciate the fortunes Singapore has when compared with other countries. She has also shown optimism in seeing good amidst the bad around. Tan Boon Leng, there is a fine line between being realistic and being pessimistic.

Appalling in this time of recession

A case in court on a divorcee requesting maintenance fees from her husband is indeed shocking. The fees are really for her own and her children's extravagant lifestyles, which reflects on how she has brought them up. Mostly vanity-based, the expenses stated are unnecessary and indulgent, showing a materialistic and worldly perception towards living life. Do these expenses make a truly good life? Besides, she gets her own pension and her children get their own wages. She will get a hefty sum from the sale of their houses too. All this money is more than enough for her!

The amounts she spent on these items are exorbitant and she even spent a five-figure sum from their joint account! That is pure abuse of a fund set up to symbolise their joining in matrimony! Her reasons may be insecurity and love for her husband, but the approach used to deal with these issues is wrong.

I am heartened to note that she was thoroughly chastized by the judge and her request was not granted. Apparently though, she had not taken the advice to heart, as she wants to appeal against the judgement passed. What a woman!

Putting assignments online

I think it will not be so instant as if the teacher announces them or writes them out on the board. The students can immediately take note of them instead of going home to look at the website. The teacher can also save the time spent going to the staff room to post them on the website, and use it to attend to her other duties.

Computers may be getting cheaper but those families who are in the low-income category will not be able to afford even the cheaper prices. They can use second-hand computers or go to internet cafes, but the former may break down after a while and the latter are not so many in quantity now. Going to their friends' houses to use their computers may result in some of their friends' parents not being happy with it. The school may have a computer laboratory but there may be insufficient computers for the students to use.

Recruiting of teachers

Sebastian Tan wrote a letter on ensuring the right type of people are chosen to be teachers, so that we don't get errant ones who are detrimental to our children. It is not easy to know which applicant displays deviant behavioural traits though. They may also manifest those traits only when they are already confirmed as teachers.

He also mentioned how a teacher put chilli padi on a child's mouth. I think the public's condemnation of this act is because the parents of this generation treat their children as royalty. They cannot bear to see their precious children be disciplined in such a manner. I remember how my teachers used to hit my knuckle with a ruler. My grandma also put chilli padi on my lips. It is a harsh way to teach what is right but it instills proper fear and respect towards those who are in charge of us.

Relief teachers are still teachers

Ms Linda Lim's daughter was unfortunate enough to have been taught by a relief teacher who makes me ashamed to acknowledge that I was one too. I am aghast to read that the teacher did not check with the subject teacher or the class monitor about the textbooks, before punishing the students. It is even more dismaying to know that the teacher did not consider the fact that the girl was only in Primary 1, and thus was not aware of how class logistics were run. I do not know how to comment on this lack of care. What makes it far worse is that when the truth came out as the fault of the teacher, she was not humble enough to apologise for her mistake. Taking charge of a class does not make her infallible. Even the Pope apologises to his critics for certain statements he makes.

Athlete of the Year award

Some people are unhappy with the Straits Times's choice of Tao Li as the recipient. They feel that since she did not win an Olympic medal, she is not better than Yip Pin Xiu who did win. Another reason is that she is a Paralympian and thus needs more encouragement plus support.

Is medal winning the only criterion for this award? Tao Li has surpassed expectations ever since she entered the swimming arena. She proved her critics wrong by shrugging off their condescension and creating ripples in the world of competition. This makes her a role model for any young person and student. I actually cut out an article on her achievements, for my student as a form of inspiration and motivation.

There seems to be an implication that Pin Xiu's identity as a Paralympian; a disadvantaged sportswoman, should evoke sympathy for her. There is a mention of the lack of supporters for the Paralympians. In this case, the award seems to be just a patronization towards her, is it not?

Teachers' gawking behaviour

Teachers' intimate relations with student minors, provocative pictures on the internet and jaw-dropping enterprises on their blogs have shamed the dignity of their profession. Santokh Singh wrote an article on the modern evolution of the relationship between teachers and students. I heartily disagree with it however.

He frowns upon teachers revealing their handphone numbers to their students. I am 'guilty' of such a gesture. I'm also 'guilty' of sharing with them my email address, msn nickname and blog. I use smses to confirm lessons with them, email notes on the exam, use msn to answer their queries on the questions they encounter and use my blog to teach them language and writing skills through my entries on life. It does mean extending my contact with them after lesson hours, but queries form in the students' minds even after school hours. Then who do they turn to for such academic puzzles to be solved? Does this gesture of mine mean that I'm overstepping the boundaries between my students and I? I am not having any physical intimacy with them and my blogs are harmless. Go, scrutinise them and refute this.

My tone may be informal and friendly when communicating with them using such technological tools, but students nowadays are different from those of the previous generations. They would like their teacher to be their friend too. Yes, I admit to using abbreviations in the process but it is a way of being understood. I've used the full form of the terms but instead they cause bewilderment in return.

It's not that we're depriving the parents of their time with their children. Do they even have time to give to their children? Yes, it is after school hours but most parents are too busy with their jobs to give their full attention to their children. Why are there so many latch-key children then?

January 19th's Recruit section: Motivate your employees

I never fail to look through the Recruit section's articles in case they can be related to the way I deal with my students. This one is on how I can retain my students, as some do stop lessons with me and switch to going for lessons at a tuition centre.

1. Do my students dread my lessons? I try to make them more interesting. If they want to speak about something other than the lesson for the day, I am open to it, as it gives them a chance to train their oral skills. I do maintain certain boundaries though. I have discussed a little on shopping malls and fashion with my students. Some parents fail to understand my real intention and think that I am not teaching. Well, it's really their child's loss that they chose to stop lessons with me. Haha.

2. I try to be patient with my students and give them the benefit of the doubt. There may be real, unintentional reasons for their performance. When necessary, I advocate direct guidance in the fulfillment of their tasks, or send reminders to hand in their assignments. I try not to label them too quickly and motivate them to get rid of their weaknesses, by telling them of the consequences or rewarding them when they do improve. Yes, God has indeed blessed me by giving me students who do more than the minimum in their studies. :) I have a student asking me for more homework than I usually give. :))

3. I show appreciation to my students who show an improvement in their performance, by verbal affirmation or tangible rewards. I also share it with their parents. Besides verbally encouraging the students, I motivated some of them by treating them to a meal so that they will be spurred on to study harder. I do feel especially sympathetic towards my China students, as they are celebrating CNY away from home and also, they may feel inferior to their local counterparts in terms of academic excellence.

Flexibility in dealing with students

I usually try to reward my students when they do well in their subjects, or motivate them to go on trying when they lose confidence.

I buy stationery or their favourite item for them, but I am going to do it in a different way this time. I am going to treat them. I was inspired to do so when I saw a teacher with her students at Jumbo Seafood Restaurant. I am going to meet 3 of my students on Wednesday, to give them a treat. I know it will make a difference to them. :)

Flexibility is important in educating youths. We must cater to their needs with different methods, depending on their characters and preferences. Using the same method for different students may not be effective for all of them, and resources are wasted in the process.

Teaching nuggets

These are some observations I have with regards to teaching:

1) We have to give chances to those who have blotched their earlier performances, so that they can redeem themselves. We may have to give them the benefit of the doubt at times and be gracious towards them too.

2) Technology is very useful in terms of English lessons. English is linked to general knowledge and I use my digital camera to take pictures in order to show my students what the world out there is like. I also give them my blog's URL so that they can learn more about current affairs as well as proper sentence structure. I email them examination tips nearer to their paper and converse with them via MSN on any queries they may have. I surf the Internet for stories or topics that are of interest to them, and then print the notes out for the lesson.

3) It is of no use sheltering the present generation from the facts of life, as they will still be exposed to it via dangerous means. They are different from the past batches of youths.

A case in point is sex education. Oftentimes we dread talking to them about it out of awkwardness but when we evade their curious questions, we may push them to search for their answers by exploring the topic through physical intimacy in a relationship. This creates social problems like unwanted pregnancies and STDs. I am fortunate to an avid reader, as my parents exposed me to it by giving me books to read. What about those who do not like to read?

When I mentioned lesbianism during a lesson, I was met with ignorant eyes. I chose to speak more about it instead of stopping short at the mere mention of it. This will give the impression that it is something that exists and will have to be exposed to someday. By concealing the true facts about it, curiosity is ignited and may be quenched using the wrong means. That would bring about a bigger problem. My method nips the problem in the bud.

Difficult to fathom

It is so strange how people who are in the same category as I cannot seem to think beyond themselves. Life is not easy, I admit that but sometimes we have to die to our own feelings and reach out to others. They clearly have needs to be fulfilled at the point in time, in order for the team to contribute effectively.

Also, their intensive knowledge puts them in the know about certain protocol that must be observed at certain times. Actually, even without such knowledge, the protocol must be observed. This lack of observance is an influence on others. I feel that the occupation we are in and the age we are compel us to be an example to the young. It is quite disappointing to note that sight I beheld.

Nitty-gritty thoughts

It's ironic how we complain that others are insensitive to our feelings out of harmless teasing, but we do exactly the same to others. I wonder if it's a subconscious venting of what we endured from others. It turns me off especially when the topic is on something significant and passionate to me.

Also, we tend to focus on our own needs and forget others'. We insist on having ours met. When they aren't, we criticise the people involved so badly regardless of respect due to the people. We forget that everyone has experiences he can teach and inspire us with. We reclaim our rights but sometimes it is better to forgo them for the sake of harmony.

Our perceptions of people based on clashes of opinions with them can cause us to be permanently biased towards them. We choose not to be open to their goodness, their humanity and warmth. It is not an easy attitude to take indeed, but we can try. We tend to look at their achievements and overlook their true character, which is really the gem of a person.

We may know the same person for a long time but as he gets older, certain things about him change and we are unused to them. However, we know we can always go back to the tight bond we share over the years. On the contrary, some others change for the worse and it disappoints me. There is lack of support and understanding towards certain decisions and it still surfaces despite the passage of time. Lack of sensitivity is also shown in the criticism, to the extent that negative body language is exuded amidst silence.

2008 was extraordinary.

Major events took place:

- Mum's demise

- Miracles

- God's outpouring of grace on me

- First trip without Mum(to Macau)

- Best friend's wedding
http://weddingsbydarrel.com/blog/107

- First trip with Sixteen Candles group(to Turkey)

- First camera
http://pseudofashionist.blogspot.com/

- First book written


- Learning how to upload photos to computer, so as to email them or to add them to my blogs.

EDITOR'S NOTE

You will notice that my entries have been jumbled up and are fewer too. I've started new blogs based on specific themes and transferred the relevant entries accordingly. I think it's more organized and easier for me to write specific topics in the relevant blogs. They can be accessed via the links on the right, on the main page of this blog.

Enjoy my blogs and do comment on them in the tagboard on this blog!! Just include which blog in the comments. Thanks.

There's always an easier way

Some realizations in the course of a lesson have affirmed my temperament for being a teacher. I may lack oral skills as compared to others but I must have confidence in my gifts to create rapport with students, to be a guiding force of patience. In a way, this line allows me to show love for students who may lack it in their families. It may be an unusual way but it is my way and my conscience is clear.

This student had avoided reading any more myths and legends because of the difficult language used to narrate them. I got some in a simpler language and when he saw the title of my notes, he exuded fear. I told him to just try reading them before concluding on their difficulty level. Praise God, he liked them and wanted more. I did get simpler versions after all! I was a little worried when he showed his initial reaction.

I plan to get notes on travelling and other countries' attractions for him as well. His knowledge will increase and his social adaptability may not diminish with these notes.

There is indeed a way to gain knowledge, as long as we think from a different angle. :)

Language can be misinterpreted and can ring annoyance

What is the true meaning of "reaction"? Does it mean only thought? I beg to differ. I think it includes action. Action leads from thought and both make up reaction. This from a Lit grad to an Eng grad.

Then again, perhaps it is the answer to a prayer.

I used to have confusion over why this friend of mine hates it when I say, "Whatever." Now that I've experienced it for myself, with someone saying it to me, I understand why and it does grate on the nerves. So I replied with what my best friend always says but in a different context, "If you say so." That probably got on his nerves too. Hah!

A leopard can never never change its spots

Self-righteousness and arrogance have reigned once again. We have more experiences than others, not to have the perogative to treat them condescendingly but to understand their lack of exposure and give them more time to learn about the world, as we have.

Also, their different perspectives does not make them any lesser than we are. There may be underlying circumstances behind their actions. Simplicity and naivety may be dominant due to age or family background.

Sometimes a dearth of consciousness in social presentation may result in impulsive speech. Instead of labelling, why not analyse the causes underneath the actions? What is common knowledge to one may not be to another. When there is a revelation, shouldn't the humility seen convey the above message?

Sometimes age belies the immaturity in thinking. The outburst was full of truth and I think the reflection is of others. Perhaps there should be a continuation of distance placed between self and others.

The opinion that others have not met expectations stems of arrogance. If there is proof of surpassing performance, which there has not been in previous attempts, then perhaps silence is golden. The previous attempts consist of accents too so where is the perogative to condescend? What exudes from within, which is divinely given, is more important than outward showmanship. Such deep stability and peace is meant for only certain people, definitely not for such arrogance which is an obstruction.

There are other reasons that cause expectations not to be met, like the failure of external factors that amplify already excellent performances. If comparison is brought into the picture, the participation in GEP is a far more superior qualification than mere nothingness. Science is definitely better than art in this case, even though I'm an Arts grad. Science encompassed education too, incidentally. Art never did. What is more, an Arts grad and an Education grad look up to Science. What else is there left to say?

I seriously dont care if the linguistic riddles are unravelled.

"Please", such a simple word so no excuses!

The coffee assistant who said he did not understand what the man was saying is bluffing, in my opinion. How can he not know what "please" is? True, he may not have met many polite customers but he is not that stupid right? Being taken aback by such courtesy is no excuse for showing such rudeness as well. It was injected with sarcasm as well. What a jerk!

His rudeness was further seen when he scolded a customer who tried to stand up for the polite man. So what if this took place in a coffeeshop? Does that mean that a cheap place cannot contain good manners? Who set this rule? The coffee assistant?

The pressures of sportsmen

Liu Xiang's withdrawal from his 110m hurdle race was all over the news and there were mixed reviews over his move.

There were fewer sympathizers with his predicament. Those who disregarded his feelings even questioned the authenticity of his injury. I think that was rather callous. I doubt he was a coward who did not want to lose in front of his countrymen. His injury was definitely causing him pain as apparent from the pictures. To quit in such a fashion is a form of courage and he was a hero. He ran the risk of being labelled in a negative way but went ahead with his decision. I believe he was the most affected of all when that move was carried out.

I know that the Chinese people have a deep love for their country and will even die for it. However, I think it is unfair to him to be expected to be paralyzed while running for China. I think he still has more chances to run for China in future with this withdrawal. If he had continued in the race, it would be the people's fault for making him paralyzed and he would not be able to compete in future. Who would be their athlete hero then? I can imagine the pressure, despondency and guilt he is facing at this moment. He had trained for the Olympics for 4 years and this had to happen to him. His injury had to flare up again. Poor him.

Sometimes people just focus on pointing their fingers at others without lifting their own. They obviously cannot do better in the same activity even if they want to lift their own. It is also seen in church politics and I know some people like that, sad to say.

My love affair with dogs

I fell in love with these canine lovelies when I was a kid and this love affair is still going strong. Every time I see one, I go all mushy and soft. Who can resist these adorable beings?

I have a few dogs in mind, which make me go weak in the knees. There's this brown and white pup with a black tail a few houses away, as well as a white dog a few houses away in the opposite direction. The latter seems to have human eyes that penetrate ur insides. A huskie and a brown dog with hair all over it are also some other dogs I always look for when I leave my house. The white dog and the brown dog are usually locked in their cages, thus restricting their movements and I really feel sad for them.

Singapore's first gold medal in 48 years

The victory ceremony for any Olympic event is my favourite part to watch. I feel the sense of pride and happiness that the winner feels as the national anthem is played. It is a tremendous and overwhelming feeling to win glory for your country and it does teach one humility too. The glory goes back to your country and is not for yourself, even as an individual medallist.

When the silver medals were presented by our very own Ng Ser Miang to our very own Singaporeans for the sport of table tennis, I felt that sense of nationalistic pride. He chose this particular sport to give the medals out too and obviously, it was arranged that he would give them to our heroines. He personally picked these foreign imports to come to our country and he has finally seen his plan come to fruition.

They may be born in China and some Singaporeans may feel it is really an all-China final, like the friend I mentioned in an earlier entry. However, is this really true? They are our citizens now and deserve our tribute. They gave glory to our country and put our name on the Olympic medal list. They fought hard for us. We are really not the only country which imports foreigners into our country and we can't really accuse them of being disloyal to their native country.

I think they may have had mixed feelings upon hearing their own national anthem played during the victory ceremony but actually representing another country. It must not be easy for them too.

I don't think they deprive the locals of places in the sports arena. They are Singaporeans too and Jiawei's tears at the Olympics when Tianwei beat the Korean girl in her match is testimony enough. All of them are doing their best for the country they are grateful to for having cultivated their talents. We should appreciate them.
Perhaps our locals are not good enough and the government is forced to import foreigners as a result. Hah!

I don't think China views us in a derogatory way because of our Foreign Talent Scheme. We are not the only country who does that. Korea and France do too. On the other hand, the Chinese girls are not being disloyal to China. They want a better life for their families and to earn a living. Isn't that what our ancestors did as immigrants to Singapore, whether Chinese, Malay or Indian?!

This reminds me of an article that was on this student who complained that China students deprive her of a scholarship. They work extra hard because they paid a lot to come here and also they are afraid to lose out to us, ironically. Shouldn't she take their presence as motivation to work even harder instead of putting the blame on them? Of course, if teachers favour them, local students are displeased but perhaps teachers are impressed by their attitudes?

Incidentally, Yining of China is pretty. Who can say that women with boyish hairstyles don't look as pretty as those with long hair? It is the facial features that define what pretty women are.

Complaining doesn't make situations better

I get irritated when people keep complaining about factors that are beyond their control. I don't know if it's a male desire to be in control of everything around them but if that can be done, what is God for then? Perhaps it is an outlet for venting their frustrations out but it cannot change things that happen. If their words can be magical enough to reverse the progression of things, then by all means go ahead and complain.

It is a choice we make to let things affect us positively or negatively. If it has to be the latter, then we try to see it in a positive way. For example, if we cannot tolerate noise or the selfish behaviour of others, we try to cultivate the patience to bear with it. This needs silence for a start. By complaining, we are letting it disrupt our inner stability and health, and some things are just not worth it. The worst thing is if we retain those things within us even after having complained about them. Then we constantly complain about them. That is a major irk.

Another way is to analyse the reason behind the occurrences. There may be a need for such things to happen and we try to understand it. It may be worse for the other person, we may find. Of course, I am learning to make the right choices too. I am not a sage in this area.

Where is the Olympic Spirit??

The Olympics has been hogging the headlines since its opening ceremony on 8th August. Some athletes unfortunately, have been displaying a lack of sportmanship by being sore losers when the results are announced. There was even an article on losers whining when China wins. Is this a case of seeing green?

Incidentally, the losers are from Western countries. Perhaps their Western superiority prevents them from being open to reality. The West cannot always dominate. It is not surprising that Asian nations have worked their way up the global ladder and become powerful in their own right too. China was a power to reckon with in chronological history as well. It is not just England or America which has imperialist plans. Call me naive but if there's no acceptance of our fellow humans' achievements which give glory to us as a planet, how is peace to be attained?

A Swedish member refused to accept his bronze medal when it was presented to him. He removed it from his neck and dropped it on the ground before walking off in a huff. Thankfully, there is justice and he has been disqualified. Of course, he cannot have his medal back.

Other participants claim the judges give away points to their Chinese opponents and contribute to their gold medals. Even the USA women's gymnastics team commented on the ages of their China opponents when they lost. Asians are smaller in body size than the Europeans. Obviously, they do not know that.

The China swimmer who had won a medal was also regarded with cynicism. She was suspected of having taken drugs to enhance her performance. There have been such scandals surrounding China in the previous Games but what proof is there to say that it is the same this time round? If that is the case, the Jamaican athlete who broke both world records in the 100m and 200m races should go for a drug test too. 10 seconds for the 100m race seems virtually impossible! What about Michael Phelps who has 8 gold medals from this year's Games? My point is that there is no proof that the swimmer took drugs just as there is no proof that Phelps and the Jamaican took drugs.

A bronze medal is still a medal and gives glory to the country. What about Singapore who has not won a medal for 48 years but faithfully sends participants to each Olympic Game? I don't see us producing sour grapes. Losing should induce improvement rather than criticism out of jealousy.

Also, the Chinese female gymnast who fell off her apparatus quelled her negative reaction and resumed her routine after getting back on. She put in more effort to redeem herself after that fatal mistake. This is in contrast to the US female gymnast who let her fall affect her subconscious and thus her subsequent performances. It is obvious who shows more strength of spirit here and the age of China's gymnastics team is thus not an issue. Even China's male gymnast redeemed himself by defeating his inner demons which caused him a medal at the last Olympics, and claiming the gold medal.

Now this lack of spirit is seen between Western countries too. An American athlete was so arrogant towards a Russian athlete and in the end, she was humbled when she lost out to the latter. Also, Britain and Australia are spewing snide and spiteful comments at each other. Each side is not happy whenever the other has won a medal and this is taken to greater extremes than the normal competitiveness seen in any sport. Such sore losers.

frustrated rantings

I detest self-righteous people but then again, I'm selective in my targets. I had a conversation the other day and some things I heard made me boil within.

Though people in the working world make certain taboo mistakes and get themselves into trouble with their superiors in the process, they should NOT be discriminated against when they need help from their colleagues to correct the dire situations. The desire to save one's own skin at the expense of being a witness to others for our God is not exactly laudable, is it?

Also, their nationality doesn't entitle us as locals to brand them in a negative manner. The students I've worked with and am working with, that are of that nationality, surpass some of our students, in terms of their attitude and effort towards their studies. This branding exudes a form of xenophobia, don't you think? When I mentioned that I have students of that nationality, my friend could not produce another negative comment about them. *smug look*

There have been articles on housewives and how they would get a very high salary for all the work they do, as well as how they are so much more than what people think of them. I have a friend who is one and she is a university graduate who worked for a while before she decided to be a full-time mother.

I think housewives are great. Most of our mothers are anyway. I am not saying this because I am a woman and I have just lost my mum. Think about it. They keep the house clean and have a piping hot meal on the table when their husbands come home after a hard day's work. They take care of the kids and give them a mother's love which is irreplaceable. They don't just leave their kids to domestic helpers who are not the mothers of the kids.

I don't deny that some housewives use the opportunity to laze around the house and even indulge in financially-draining activities like shopping for branded goods, having high tea at expensive hotels and having toy boys to be their companions, using their husband's hard-earned money. However, to stereotype ALL housewives as 'useless, uneducated and stupid' people is ludicrous and totally unacceptable. It reflects a microscopic point of view and a tendency to be petty by letting the black sheep affect one's general impression of the whole cohort.

There are men out there who have problems socialising with people but there ARE reasons for their inability. They may be lowly educated, have little exposure to society when younger, have a poor family background or have physical problems which may incapacitate their abilities. They DON'T deserve to be mocked at for being unable to get partners.

There are many reasons for being unable to get partners besides socializing problems and tactless manners. Attitudes and mindsets is another huge factor. The fact that one mocks another of the same gender for this lack of partners shows that there is pure arrogance and lack of compassion. This attitude plus the two mentioned above make one a potential target for being left on the shelf too, don't they? If only people realise that the plank in their eye is bigger than the speck in others', there would be less MALICIOUS gossip in the world. When people are in dire straits, they expect sympathy from others but once they have overcome these difficult moments, they forget that they were once in the same situations and look down on others who are now in difficult situations. These people render me speechless!

When I told my friend that poor family background may affect the ability to socialise, the reply was that others have dysfunctional families too and that's no excuse. I retorted that there should be no comparison as everyone is different. When I said that physical illnesses can affect the ability to socialise, that was my winning statement.

Latest update on my life

It has been so long since I've last written any entries. It has been 3 months! I guess I am just lazy at having to update my blog, though my initial purpose for doing so was to let my students read my thoughts on current affairs. Nowadays, I discuss it with them during lessons.

I have been busy reading the exhaustive number of books I bought as well as trying to meet the deadlines of my writing projects. :S My first book has come out and is being sold in Popular Bookshop. It is dedicated to my late mum who was the one who suggested this idea of freelance writing to me :D I've submitted my second manuscript and have 3 books left. My motivation for entering this line is to introduce societal concerns to students through my passages and questions. I hope to come up with a second blog on the books I've read. I want to share them with fellow bookworms around the world. Incidentally, I never fail to get books whenever I go to Page One at Vivocity. It has so many books in so many genres as well as multimedia, stationery and magazines.

I do hope to go back to Charismatic sessions at CTK. The last time I went for it was 3 months back. I miss going for it but I need to find the right time to do so.

It will take a long time for SG to reach courteous perfection

Rachael Stephan wrote a letter to lament on the lack of graces in our country and as a Singaporean, I can't help but agree with her, though with a sense of shame imbued within me as well. She narrated an occasion when she was left behind in the "stampede" for lift space in a mall. The offenders were not remorseful at all when admonished by her unjust self.

I am reminded of some extremely rude behaviour I encountered at J8 the other day. A female student was so enticed by her male friend that she just rushed past me while shouting his name in my ear(!) I was extremely annoyed by that self-centred and fanatical behaviour. She failed to realise that she had injured someone's ears in the process of her 'chase'. I made a comment to my friend, saying that if my hearing ability is ever compromised, it was definitely because of such callous and uncouth behaviour.

As the title of this entry goes, I don't know when Singapore will reach the standard of such basic courtesy. Our countless courtesy campaigns have obviously not worked with such people around. Perhaps more creativity can be shown towards educating our students in this area.

This cynicism I have does affect my attitude towards train commuters too. Due to my arthritis, it would be more ideal for me to sit down but as I told my friend while in the train, I really don't want to rush for seats with able-bodied commuters, since they will probably think I am pretending due to my young age. I did express my cynicism out loud after thanking this gracious mother for letting me have the seat instead.

I know I'm not making a big fuss out of the selfishness of Singaporeans. Look at the commuters who do not give up seats to those who really need to sit down, who flout the rules by eating on the train, who turn up the volume of their music players without using earphones, and who flaunt their flamboyant affection for their partners in public.

Another incident really repulses me. An ambulance driver was unfairly assaulted by two drivers for making them wait to move out of their parking spaces. He had parked his vehicle in such a way that it did not completely block their cars. If they are really good drivers, they would have seen that. He had a task to escort his patient to kidney dialysis at the nearby centre, and the ambulance had to be parked in front of the centre for the patient's inconvenience. Even if they were in a hurry, they could have politely asked the staff to get the ambulance moved away, instead of shouting at them and going a step further to hit them. Such uncouth people!

The ambulance driver was gracious and remarkable in not retaliating. He has a great sense of self-control. I agree with some things he said. The level of impatience shown indicates their "disability" in handling traffic situations. Also, such local drivers are very selfish. I hope the drivers get a harsh punishment for what they did.