Outcry over the definition of IJ girls.

Letters pertaining to this "tongue-in-cheek" definition have been published in the newspapers recently. I too, have my own view on this, being a former IJ girl. I was educated in my alma mater for 10 years.

I do acknowledge the roles it has played in my fluency in English as well as in my character -building process. 'Simple in Virtue, Steadfast in Duty', which IJ girl isn't familiar with this school motto of hers? At least 11 IJ schools adopt this value system. It's no wonder that there are former girls provoked by Life's definition! I believe Sumiko Tan is a former IJ girl and happened to be from my secondary school. She writes for Life too. I also know of another employee in SPH who was from an IJ school. How would they take this?

The writer could have been more sensitive to us, I feel. The "tongue-in-cheek" insertion is not an adequate excuse for his offensive words. The fact that there are members of parliament and even religious sisters, who are former IJ girls, proves his label wrong beyond the shadow of a doubt. He has offended personal sensitivities in the political and religious arenas. He has insulted our dignity, identity and the values imbued in us by our founder Father Nicholas Barre.

However, from an objective point of view, the black sheep amongst the IJ girls have given us a bad reputation and caused the public to have such a stereotype towards us. I remember this particular event during my secondary school days. Some of our girls behaved indecently with some boys from the neighbouring school at a fast-food restaurant, causing all of us to be banned from that outlet. They were in their school uniforms, mind you!

That was an unjust act towards the majority of the cohort but we should blame the few girls for being inconsiderate and sullying our school's name in the first place. Hence the public has given us such a misnomer as being "easy with the opposite sex".

The "allure" of 'branded' schools

Parents seem to think that putting their children in such schools will enable the kids to find a good job when they start working, according to this article written by Divya Sangameshwar. That's clearly a misconception. Employers look for on-the-job performance and attitude besides just one's academic qualifications, what more the schools one went to. To be blatant, that's a naive perception to have.

Divya is correct in her opinion that some parents expect the teachers to take over their parenting while their kids are with the teachers. Yes, the parents may be working and thus have less time to spend with their kids in the day but that's no excuse for them to shirk their duty. It's really quite annoying because the teachers have other students to handle, aren't related to the kids and don't see the kids as often as their parents who live in the same house do.

The real definition of Singlish and mobile phone users

The controversy on English versus Singlish continues in the newspapers and this time, the definition of the latter is mentioned. Singlish is not ungrammatical English, or English incorporating dialectically exclusive terms, or peppered with words and phrases from other languages , as we are portraying to foreigners, but proper English in a Singaporean accent.

It's really interesting how people use their moblie phones. When I'm alone, this becomes more apparent to me.

Some people speak really loudly on their phones and I am practically "in" their conversations. I heard a girl lamenting to her friend on the other line that she has no boyfriend and her friends who have boyfriends don't spend much time with her nowadays. Of course I'm not immune from this phenomenon but I am trying to tone down when I speak.

Some women answer their calls while in the toilet cubicle. It's rather rude and uncouth, I feel. The person on the other line is audibly privy to what you are doing inside and yes, you do keep people outside your cubicle waiting.

Psyching students up for their exams

A principal of a school in the West wrote letters to students who possess slackening attitudes towards their studies. Her intention was to correct those attitudes and jolt the students into being serious in their studies. However, a minority of them and some parents didn't take to this method. Even a teacher felt that some of the words used were too strong.

The principal's reply implied that her letters were done on the spur of the moment. Prior editing was definitely essential, not just because of the Speak Good English campaign. They may have been more personal and real as a result but somehow the haste portrayed in them has the effect of insincerity.

I have talked about this in a much earlier entry. This is really reverse psychology. Some teachers and parents also seemingly "condemn" these students and pretend to lose hope in them ever improving in their performances, so as to get them all fired up to prove their teachers and parents wrong. This is usually done by the earlier generations of figures in authority.

Unfortunately, not every student is that adept at realising the noble reason behind such an action. Sometimes, direct encouragement and confidence is better at achieving the same result. This is actually reverse psychology as well. Trust is instilled in the students, that they will be able to do well in their studies. This makes them feel that they can't afford to let their teacher or parent down due to the confidence in their ability. Thus, they resolve to study hard and give their best shot in their studies.

Being exacting can be a turn-off

I was at J8's NTUC and was waiting in the queue behind this lady who had bought numerous six-pack cartons of a drink. As she was loading them onto the counter, she asked for the sparkling type. I switched to another queue as I knew she was going to take a long time in paying for her items.

When the salesgirl replied that it was sold out and only the original type was left, she made a really big fuss over it. She said she had been told that there was an offer over it and she could not believe that it had been sold out.

I was so repulsed by her behaviour because when something is sold out, it shows its popularity and the normal thing to do is to accept the news with disappointment. However, she was ranting and raving. What gives her the edge over the rest of humankind to act differently?? I was so fed up that I said pretty loudly to my friend that she was an example of a black sheep. Obviously, it didn't serve to stop her obnoxious attitude.

She was attracting irritated eyes from the nearby customers, including myself but she couldn't care less. All she wanted was her own way. Her husband was standing near her, hapless at how to stop her. Even the salesgirl gave her dagger-like looks for her ridiculous behaviour.

Very soon, she had pushed away all the other customers behind her as they switched to other queues. As I left, she was still at her 'speech of justice'. She really spoilt my mood.

Seniority in age doesn't lead to priority in service

I was waiting for my order of Guo Tie at a stall and the assistant had warned me that it would be given to me last because the noodle orders were easier to attend to and thus done first. I agreed since I wasn't famished.

While waiting, there were customers with me who asked why the orders took such a long time but they did so in a light-hearted manner, as they did understand that the stallholders were already trying their best. There was however, one irksome customer who was making a really big fuss over it. She was definitely above 60 years of age based on her appearance.

She scolded the assistant for taking such a long time when she had finished eating her other dishes. She was sitting down for goodness sake while the rest of us were standing. Moreover, I had waited for 20 minutes without so much as a whine! Her seniority didn't entitle her to be so demanding, I feel. I was a little fed up with her. Her voice was really loud and even my friend at the other end of the coffeeshop could hear her.

The assistant was petrified and at a loss but this nice customer calmed her down by patting her back. The assistant could only tell the old lady to wait another 5 minutes in a polite manner and apologise profusely. The customer kept saying she wanted to go home and refused to listen. She kept rattling verbally. $5 is still money and so the assistant humbly tried to pacify her.

After the old lady went back to her seat, the stallholders remarked that Guo Tie needs time to be cooked well. They were calm about the whole matter though. They immediately fried the Guo Tie though and when she came back to ask again, they told her it was ready. She didn't want it however, as she was already fuming by then. The stallholder had to serve her personally even though it is self-service. He was humble and that pacified her.

What a customer! She was so impatient, lacked understanding and self-control. Then again, her age may have been the factor to such a behaviour!

School? Play too!

Ho Kong Loon wrote about how school nowadays is so pressurizing for children as compared to school of bygone days. He reminisced about the "moments of joy, laughter, firm friendships and camaraderie" that defined his learning days. He did enjoy the "companionship of schoolmates (and) the love and concern of teachers"

Such times during my A'level days were brought to mind as I read on. I had a bunch of mates whom I spent most of my time with. We ate together, studied together and even prayed together. I remember fondly our short days, when we used to go to the prata stalls and Japanese restaurant at Casuarina Road. The Indian Rojak and Oyako Don were really enticing. Our school was also opposite Hans. When we stayed back in school to study, we went there for lunch. Meifen loved the Grilled Fish there and she introduced it to me. There were also a minimart and coffeeshop along the same row of shops. Gerry and I used to buy lots of snacks and sweets to keep ourselves awake while ploughing through the endless notes we had. We used to go to North- point as well. It was our favourite haunt since there was a straight bus, 853, back to our homes. The food court was where we always headed to.

I have fond memories of studying not only with my mates but also with my seniors. They were kind enough to help us with any difficulties we faced. I remember copying my homework assignments from the smarter ones like Fazeela and Vanitha while eating my breakfast of Fried Bee Hoon with a slice of fried luncheon meat at 6.45am in the canteen. We used to sit at the first table every morning. I remember Yvonne and Shufen coaching me in Econs when I had to do a sub-paper that would determine my promotion. I did get promoted to the next year, God bless them. I also remember Shufen rubbing the deep purple bruise on my left arm really hard till it became red. Oh, how it hurt!

My Accounts tutor Mrs Wong gave me a pep talk to encourage us not to give up on her subject because we could still pass it. We were not hopeless. The time she spent touched me profoundly and I did pass her subject eventually. I was ecstastic when I got my results and immediately went to her. Mrs Fung and Ms Lim were extremely patient, understanding and gentle with my slow learning of A Math. I used to ask them the stupidest questions but they would never blink an eye and would guide me through to the answers. I did pass A Math too. Mdm Ang gave me money to take a cab home after my wallet was stolen from my bag while I was browsing at books in the library. I was distraught and desperate, and her understanding was much needed then.

May introduced me to the concept of a cell group, which is part of a Protestant's spiritual journey. I am a Roman Catholic and before that, this was alien to me. Together with my Accounts tutor Ms Chan, she introduced me to its workings of bible sharing and praise and worship. My Christian music tastes became more varied. She also brought me to the Festival of Praise event.

Ho Kong Loon also referred to Jeremy Lim's plea for school holidays to be play days rather than working ones filled with assignments and homework. With the evolution of time, parents' priorities change too. Children have to do exercises in their assessment books to while away the time instead of wasting time on "useless activities" like playing, watching TV or surfing the Internet. There is learning involved in such activities too! I pity them but they cannot tell their parents what they really want to do, which is to play. Will their parents listen?

He sent out a plea to those involved in educating the young to let them enjoy their learning years. I try my best to do so while teaching my kids, so that they don't dread my lessons.

Intros and conclusions are relative

Neville Stack wrote an article on the art of writing (pun!) in Today.

What's written in an intro can actually be in a conclusion. His daughter wrote this on the founding of America: The Pilgrim Fathers sailed away. Then she wrote this as the conclusion: Horray. This is usually part of the body, as a feeling felt by the character. It can be interpreted as that of joy or sarcasm. See the innovation displayed by such a child?

She has given relativity to the rules governing the style of writing essays. She has used her young creative mind to give new insights into what's old and fixed.

He gives a few quotes from literary texts to illustrate his point. I'm intrigued by George Orwell's intro to 1984: 'It was a bright cold day in April and the clocks were striking thirteen.' To me, the latter part of the quote brings out the sci-fi genre of the text and an out-of-this-world perspective as I peruse the book.

Desiring to fill the solitude

We'll have times of solitude in our lives. However, solitude can mean being alone but not feeling lonely. We can occupy those times with activities like dwelling on past memories with nostalgic fondness, observing people around us or improving our knowledge through reading. These quiet pastimes are evidently done on our own, as opposed to messaging someone on the phone. We do need time on our own. Being with others can be emotionally exhausting.

A friend taught me that it's more polite to focus properly on your friend when you're out together, by not messaging others and calling others. Answering calls however, is acceptable. I can see the logic of this. Spending time with people who matter to you is precious and you don't want to spoil it with such actions. This is especially pertinent when attending religious services. It's bad enough to talk during them and distract others in the process, but not to switch handphones to the silent mode before services is even worse. It is extremely irritating to hear handphones ring loudly when one's silent before the Lord, seeking inner peace.

Yes, having a handphone has become a prevalent necessity nowadays. I myself, have an 'addiction' to it. I think I receive a message or call when my handphone is in my bag. I feel vibrations emitting from it. However, it is not true when I check my handphone. It's probably a subconscious desire for people to contact me. When I forget to bring it out, I do wonder whether I've had any missed calls or messages. It does feel good to know people want to contact you. Maybe I'm being egoistic. It's also true that without it, I cannot remember some of my contact numbers. I use it as my clock as well.

Conversely, without one, it allows me to empathise with those who don't have handphones. Deprivation can lead to compassion. Also, it is more convenient when you're trying to avoid contact from people who irk you. Missing their calls or deleting their messages can't always take place.

Education and income? So what?

Most adults in Singapore are armed with degrees and step into the working world with them. However, their behaviour and treatment of those in the lower sectors of society are unbecoming!

I had helped a friend to distribute leaflets at City Hall MRT Station. The normal perception of people with such jobs is that they are desperate enough to do that. The working adults we encountered were atrocious! They either treated us as invisible or were rude towards us. What's wrong with saying,"No, thank you." with a smile? I felt so ostracized.

I saw another incident like this at a hawker centre. There were a few cripples selling tissue paper to the customers. A working lady who was well-dressed snubbed one of the cripples. She could have been polite in her rejection. She blinked at him in an irritated and condescending manner, which was totally uncalled for. I was so disgusted with her.

Having access to education and a stable income don't entitle one to such arrogance. Yes, some people are less fortunate but that doesn't mean they deserve such reactions! They didn't ask to be in such circumstances. If people could just put themselves in others' shoes, the world would be a much better place than it is now!

As Joan Teng mentioned in her letter to Today, "some people lack respect for those we think are inferior or less educated than us....some Singaporeans have preconceptions of those who work in the service or food industry - that they are not on par socially with those who require the service."

It's just mere subjectivity really. We can be so adamant in our viewpoints that we fail to be open to the truth. We don't want to admit we're wrong out of pride and prejudice (sounds familiar?).

Who is the inferior or less educated person here? Those who look down on others in blue-collar jobs are really the ones. Having a higher wage doesn't make one king over all. They are narrow-minded and confine their perspectives to their own self-made truths. That's really choosing to be less educated.

My school days

Siva Choy wrote an article in Sunday's The New Paper on his days as a student. He mentioned that before schools used white boards in the classrooms, they used blackboards. That evoked nostalgia in my mind.

I do hate the sound of the chalk "squeak(ing) at a certain sharp pitch". Each time the teacher accidentally did that, my insides just cringed and my shoulders just involuntarily shuddered. Also, I remember the chalk "dust clouds" being emitted into the air when the class monitors quickly erased the writing on the blackboard and removed the dust from the dusters. You could really see white "smoke" in the air surrounding the board! I have an unexplained fetish for looking at boards being cleaned as well!

When I was in Sec 1, I was yakking away with my classmates and my form teacher threw a piece of chalk at me in an exasperated attempt to shut me up. As a relief teacher, I had to endure chalk dust on my tops and my fingers while teaching and chalks breaking when I pressed them too hard while writing on the board. It was also a juggling act having to draw lines with a chalk in one hand and an enormous wooden ruler used by only teachers in the other! I was also made to look foolish when my writing slanted as I wrote on the board! Oh, the memories to do with the blackboard that I have stored within me!

He also mentioned class monitors helping teachers with various tasks like carrying their books. I remember some really sweet girls volunteering to carry my books when I was a relief teacher. God bless their thoughtful hearts!

He briefly chronicled the different types of writing tools for learning. I imagine how the people of long ago wrote in their books. The Chinese used brushes dipped in ink to write their characters while the Westerners used pens made with quill feathers dipped in ink to write. Technology has certainly come a long way since then.

The progression for us students was from pencils to pens. I remember being allowed to use the latter only when I reached P4. It was "a milestone in growing up" for me too. I felt like an adult then. One of the first brands of pens I used was Kilometrico but Zebra brand is still my favourite one.

From the old-fashioned ways of writing, typewriters and PCs then sprouted up. My first real attempt at using a typewriter occurred during my first temporary job, which included clerical work. My boss had to teach me how to use it from scratch! I learnt how to master the usage of the computer in another job and those skills have stood me in good stead even till now.

The China Girl

People from China have assimilated themselves into our society very well. They study in our schools, take up residence and employment in our estates and contribute a colourful as well as diversified presence to our country. Their recognizable acccents ring in our ears as we interact with them. Their Oriental looks permeate the streets we walk on.

Some unfortunate souls have made headlines in a tragic way. Huang Na, for instance, fell prey to victimization at a young and innocent age.

An article in The New Paper gave pointers on how to recognise the China Girl. After reading it, though the pointers were authentic, having been provided by a lady from China, I feel that they are just stereotypes. Some Singaporeans, myself included, do exhibit these features and mannerisms too.

China girls tie up their hair, unlike local girls who wear their hair long. I tie up my hair practically all the time. They wear looser clothes and dress casually, unlike locals who wear tighter ones. I wear looser tops and dress casually as well.

Also, they don't put on too much makeup unlike locals who put on thicker makeup. I barely put on any makeup because it clogs the skin and the 'natural look' is really makeup put on to LOOK natural, which is ironic in itself! They talk louder and gesticulate a lot. Some Singaporean girls, especially teenagers, speak so loudly that they become a nuisance to passers-by, more than I do while gesticulating a lot too.

Who ever thought that Singaporeans are bad in English is terribly wrong!

Writing tests conducted by the University of New South Wales have proven that we spell better than Australians. It gives me such sheer pleasure to know this, as a Singaporean.

Words like chaotic, laborious, dilemma, perceive, voyage, actions, appearance, camouflage, disappeared, frightening, muscular and predators were on the list.

This ability is attributed to the "drill" method we use in learning and even local academic material print words that we should know how to spell. Our counterpart however, gets their students to "read" and pronounce. Spelling does require memory.

We have also clinched four of the top positions in the Royal Commonwealth Society's essay competition. Our command of English "trumps even native speakers from the United Kingdom." This is the third year, incidentally.We have been given the greatest number of awards out of all the participating countries as a result. So there.

Unnecessary whining out of self-centredness

Mock exercises have been held to prepare our citizens for any terrorist attacks waged upon us. Some people have voiced out their unhappiness at being inconvenienced by the exercises and have suggested holding them during the non-peak hours.

I've mentioned this in a much earlier entry and reiterate the fact that these people have failed to consider that terrorists will not take that factor into account when planning an attack.

"We also try to factor in an element of surprise so as to retain realism..." Having them during the peak hours is inconvenient but realistic. Period.

A 'Hall of Shame'

Noorhayati Rahamat wrote to Today suggesting a section of photographs showing people who are a menace to society through their manners. I fully agree with it. Singaporeans are known to be concerned about 'losing face' and maintaining their reputation. This fear in them should provoke them into acting with decorum around others.

Still, there is a qualm to grapple with. Remember the Hongkong Uncle incident? When it was broadcast over the Internet, people actually got so agitated over it that he was assaulted in the name of righteousness. I hope Singaporeans don't do the same.

Neil Humphreys cited an incident in London when he was still schooling. The old lady whose seat was snatched by a young girl snatched her up and berated her for being disrespectful, insolent and inconsiderate.

Yes, having the victims stand up for their own rights would be more effective for stamping out impoliteness on public transport. Age may be an issue but injustice can summon strength from within one never thought possible before. Benign by-standers would not be accused of being busybodies then. Together, we can make a difference, nationalistically cliched though it sounds.

He mentioned some forms of repulsive behaviour prevalent on local public transport. I would like to add to his list.

Steel poles are not meant for leaning on but for holding on. Singaporeans have not got this basic piece of knowledge into their heads.

Physical intimacy between lovebirds is really more private and special when displayed within the four walls of a home. Holding hands or having arms around the shoulders or waist at the very most is still acceptable. I'm not being a prude here but more consideration would be appreciated from especially the broken-hearted or unattached, before lovebirds decide to do things which offend sensibilities. I'm not speaking for myself though.

A recent article on people insisting on entering lifts despite a medical emergency team with a casualty inside makes me feel disgusted with such a selfish attitude. Where is the sense of decent sensitivity?

Of course, humility is sorely lacking when we're criticized. This couple retaliated when told to stop eating on the train by a fellow commuter. They obviously wanted to retain their 'face' when told off in front of everyone.
They were definitely wrong in this case. The commuter was doing the right thing by being so "kapo".

However, Lim Boon Hee mentioned that "too much vigilance will result in a self-righteous society where kaypohs pick on everything they don't approve of in the name of creating more civil living." It's true to say that some people may do so only to get grateful looks from others instead of sincerely wanting to right wrongs and restore a sense of decorum. We will then have to deal with the problems of complacency and arrogance instead!

There is also the issue of subjectivity involved. "Everyone has different views and standards of what constitutes acceptable public behaviour...seek(ing) to impose what each believes to be acceptable behaviour." Disunity will be the consequence, as each "self-appointed nann(y) of good public behavioural standards" strives to convince others of his principles.

There needs to be a socially accepted criteria on proper behavioural etiquette, which is again subjective in itself anyway, since the committee which comes up with it is made up of individuals with individual opinions.

Kudos to this parenting style!

Frances Ong wrote in I Say about her way of raising children. She rules out unhealthy influences like advertisements which really drain money out of consumers with unnecessary purchases and cause "slave(ry) to trends". She instills the values of simplicity and creative thinking by using the imagination to come up with games from mere household items. Less money is spent and her children's eyesight do not deteriorate due to gaming. Selflessness and consideration for others are also cultivated with the limitations and deprivations placed upon them.

"This may seem an unconventional way to raise our children but we actively choose to create the conditions for them to live in." Technology gives way to primitivity but results in spiritual and mental progress. Books, newspapers and enriching conversations are the order of the day in her household."As parents, we must ensure that...electronic gadgets do not take over our primary roles of forming a loving relationship with our children and establishing the proper values to guide them through life."

David Poh wrote in to comment that there can be benefits to exposing children to technology. He mentions that his son "was motivated to learn English as he did not understand the commands and dialogue in the (PC) games."

He also goes on to imply that initial mutual assessment of the things in life is better than letting them learn them in the wrong ways and from the wrong people. Some parents may disagree with this, saying that the best way to learn is also the hardest way. Indeed, mistakes and wrong choices do create a more lasting impact in the learning journey but what if it's too late and they lead to life-and-death situations? We're talking about smoking and drinking here.

Prevention is better than cure and preparatory learning is more appropriate when referring to vices.

Plagiarism vs tenacity and the boundaries of creativity

Dr Veronica Corna Toh wrote in the newspapers that people have survived through the ages by improving on what's existent. "That mankind imitates, improves and perfects each other's inventions to improve lives should be a celebration of man's tenacity and survivor instinct."

In literature however, this ability is seen as plagiaristic and unoriginal rather than tenacious and adaptable.

Ng Yew Hong also wrote in to comment on creativity as rampant in all aspects of education. It is usually associated with the Arts but he gives a new take on it. "Creativity is by no means confined to the arts and aesthetics. One can be creative no matter what profession he is in. In daily life, as long as we approach every problem we encounter with an inquisitive mind and think out of the box to resolve it, we are being creative."

To think that having a desire to ask questions and not be afraid of being ridiculed in the process, and stretching our lines of thinking is also being creative, is enlightening indeed! :)

Teachers in the news for the wrong reasons

Teachers mete out punishment according to the offence committed by their students but lately, a couple of them have crossed the line and done things that are truly uncalled for. They are more of humiliation shown towards the students.

One had banned her student from having his recess for the whole week just because he had made mistakes in his schoolwork. To ban him for that particular day on which he made those mistakes would have been more adequate. Was there a need to stretch it to the whole week? The punishment exceeds the offence committed.

Another teacher had asked her class to beat a student up. The reason was because he had not been consistently handing his homework in to her. She had even told her class that she would turn a blind eye to their actions.

This is not just a matter of giving an excessive punishment but also of imbuing the wrong values to the students. As a teacher, she's responsible for their sense of righteousness towards those around them. After all, she's one of the educators of our young and her actions have certainly caused injustice to the student who was beaten up. What if by such an order, she was goading on a fellow student's desire to get even with that particular student whom he may hate?

Sometimes I do find myself losing my sense of control when disciplining my students but I stop myself immediately when I become aware of it. It takes a conscious decision to have daily reflection to achieve this.

On the other hand, some parents nowadays can be unreasonable. They regard their children as precious gems which can't be touched. They differ from those of the older generation who left their children in the teachers' hands. Even a hit on the knuckle by a wooden ruler is seen as cruel treatment nowadays.

It's no wonder that their children turn out to be spoilt and wayward, thinking that their parents'll always be speaking up for them.

There is also a failure to understand that their child isn't the only pupil the teacher has to handle at one time.

With expectations placed on the calibre of a child, punishments inflicted on him will accord to them. That's quite a logical way of disciplining, isn't it?

A retired teacher said, "..we have gone too soft as a society and may pay a heavy price if the disciplinary fabric of the school starts to fall apart." Following the style of such unreasonable parents will inevitably lead to that.

As Santokh Singh comments, "...punish...with dignity...don't humiliate..." Explain the reason behind the punishment. "Err on the side of sympathy with first-time offenders...Punishment meted out with care and concern usually bears the right fruit." Don't be afraid to seem foolish by giving the benefit of the doubt when disciplining. It'll go a long way with students.

Tourists are really national ambassadors and Singaporeans are 'complaint queens'

As someone who has travelled widely, I am aware that when we go to other countries, we are really representing our own country to foreigners. This probably stems from my choral roots. In the midst of performing at concerts on a major scale, we are really representing our church and religion.

I've encountered fellow Singaporeans on the same tour as I am, giving a bad name to our country. The uncouth mannerisms they display in their speech and behaviour are truly appalling. Such selfish people don't bother about the impression they portray to outsiders and instead care more about their own needs.

Yan Liping mentioned in her letter about this family who disobeyed instructions on the plane to only stand up when the seatbelt signs were not lighted up. This family defies my comments. All I can say is that with them around, I'd be ashamed to tell people I'm a Singaporean just like them. Perhaps they are taking the opportunity to break free from the boundary of rules that curtail their freedom back on mainland or they are showing foreign passengers on the plane that they've reached their homeland and are eager to go home. Are these reasons really justifiable?

GEMS is now being enforced in the sales industry but as Tiah Kiang Choon implies, customers affect the direction of this campaign. If customers think that they are everything, then they can't blame salespeople for giving them such negative attitudes. 'You reap what you sow'. It's a matter of practising empathy. The reason why salespeople give better service to foreigners is because they make the effort to be polite to them, according to Jeffrey Law. They also practise empathy. So, what else is there left to say on this?

I mentioned in a much earlier entry about this bank customer. No other customer was making a mountain as she was. If customers could just stop to think in the salespeople's shoes, they'd understand the whole situation better and less noise would be added to this already noisy world. As a former temporary salesgirl, I'm aware of how much those who work in customer service have to put up with. Such ridiculous customers just spoil their day.

Maria Fung wrote that "many customers tend to be impatient when things are slow...rush(ing) off with our goods without saying a word of thanks." Such typical behaviour is exhibited in restaurants and shopping outlets. Those who do otherwise are the minority. Does it hurt to put yourselves in the salespeople's shoes and give them more time to meet your requests, or say a simple 'thank you' to the service staff? "It is time we learn that going the extra mile in courtesy is a two-way, not one-way affair. "

Language has its dangers

A word may have certain set definitions, both literal and contextual but it can be abused in its usage, causing far-reaching effects.

Gender discrimination can be said to be attributed to it. "Men are players, women are sluts, just the way men are tough and women are bitchy." Aren't promiscuity and aggression the common language here? Why have different labels? Is it to show prowess in language?

People's perceptions of language have also become decadent with time. "Slut" is now used to tease and greet each other instead of being used in its proper meaning. People think of this word as "fun" to use. They become mean to others on the pretext of being humorous.