Appalling in this time of recession

A case in court on a divorcee requesting maintenance fees from her husband is indeed shocking. The fees are really for her own and her children's extravagant lifestyles, which reflects on how she has brought them up. Mostly vanity-based, the expenses stated are unnecessary and indulgent, showing a materialistic and worldly perception towards living life. Do these expenses make a truly good life? Besides, she gets her own pension and her children get their own wages. She will get a hefty sum from the sale of their houses too. All this money is more than enough for her!

The amounts she spent on these items are exorbitant and she even spent a five-figure sum from their joint account! That is pure abuse of a fund set up to symbolise their joining in matrimony! Her reasons may be insecurity and love for her husband, but the approach used to deal with these issues is wrong.

I am heartened to note that she was thoroughly chastized by the judge and her request was not granted. Apparently though, she had not taken the advice to heart, as she wants to appeal against the judgement passed. What a woman!

Putting assignments online

I think it will not be so instant as if the teacher announces them or writes them out on the board. The students can immediately take note of them instead of going home to look at the website. The teacher can also save the time spent going to the staff room to post them on the website, and use it to attend to her other duties.

Computers may be getting cheaper but those families who are in the low-income category will not be able to afford even the cheaper prices. They can use second-hand computers or go to internet cafes, but the former may break down after a while and the latter are not so many in quantity now. Going to their friends' houses to use their computers may result in some of their friends' parents not being happy with it. The school may have a computer laboratory but there may be insufficient computers for the students to use.

Recruiting of teachers

Sebastian Tan wrote a letter on ensuring the right type of people are chosen to be teachers, so that we don't get errant ones who are detrimental to our children. It is not easy to know which applicant displays deviant behavioural traits though. They may also manifest those traits only when they are already confirmed as teachers.

He also mentioned how a teacher put chilli padi on a child's mouth. I think the public's condemnation of this act is because the parents of this generation treat their children as royalty. They cannot bear to see their precious children be disciplined in such a manner. I remember how my teachers used to hit my knuckle with a ruler. My grandma also put chilli padi on my lips. It is a harsh way to teach what is right but it instills proper fear and respect towards those who are in charge of us.

Relief teachers are still teachers

Ms Linda Lim's daughter was unfortunate enough to have been taught by a relief teacher who makes me ashamed to acknowledge that I was one too. I am aghast to read that the teacher did not check with the subject teacher or the class monitor about the textbooks, before punishing the students. It is even more dismaying to know that the teacher did not consider the fact that the girl was only in Primary 1, and thus was not aware of how class logistics were run. I do not know how to comment on this lack of care. What makes it far worse is that when the truth came out as the fault of the teacher, she was not humble enough to apologise for her mistake. Taking charge of a class does not make her infallible. Even the Pope apologises to his critics for certain statements he makes.

Athlete of the Year award

Some people are unhappy with the Straits Times's choice of Tao Li as the recipient. They feel that since she did not win an Olympic medal, she is not better than Yip Pin Xiu who did win. Another reason is that she is a Paralympian and thus needs more encouragement plus support.

Is medal winning the only criterion for this award? Tao Li has surpassed expectations ever since she entered the swimming arena. She proved her critics wrong by shrugging off their condescension and creating ripples in the world of competition. This makes her a role model for any young person and student. I actually cut out an article on her achievements, for my student as a form of inspiration and motivation.

There seems to be an implication that Pin Xiu's identity as a Paralympian; a disadvantaged sportswoman, should evoke sympathy for her. There is a mention of the lack of supporters for the Paralympians. In this case, the award seems to be just a patronization towards her, is it not?

Teachers' gawking behaviour

Teachers' intimate relations with student minors, provocative pictures on the internet and jaw-dropping enterprises on their blogs have shamed the dignity of their profession. Santokh Singh wrote an article on the modern evolution of the relationship between teachers and students. I heartily disagree with it however.

He frowns upon teachers revealing their handphone numbers to their students. I am 'guilty' of such a gesture. I'm also 'guilty' of sharing with them my email address, msn nickname and blog. I use smses to confirm lessons with them, email notes on the exam, use msn to answer their queries on the questions they encounter and use my blog to teach them language and writing skills through my entries on life. It does mean extending my contact with them after lesson hours, but queries form in the students' minds even after school hours. Then who do they turn to for such academic puzzles to be solved? Does this gesture of mine mean that I'm overstepping the boundaries between my students and I? I am not having any physical intimacy with them and my blogs are harmless. Go, scrutinise them and refute this.

My tone may be informal and friendly when communicating with them using such technological tools, but students nowadays are different from those of the previous generations. They would like their teacher to be their friend too. Yes, I admit to using abbreviations in the process but it is a way of being understood. I've used the full form of the terms but instead they cause bewilderment in return.

It's not that we're depriving the parents of their time with their children. Do they even have time to give to their children? Yes, it is after school hours but most parents are too busy with their jobs to give their full attention to their children. Why are there so many latch-key children then?

January 19th's Recruit section: Motivate your employees

I never fail to look through the Recruit section's articles in case they can be related to the way I deal with my students. This one is on how I can retain my students, as some do stop lessons with me and switch to going for lessons at a tuition centre.

1. Do my students dread my lessons? I try to make them more interesting. If they want to speak about something other than the lesson for the day, I am open to it, as it gives them a chance to train their oral skills. I do maintain certain boundaries though. I have discussed a little on shopping malls and fashion with my students. Some parents fail to understand my real intention and think that I am not teaching. Well, it's really their child's loss that they chose to stop lessons with me. Haha.

2. I try to be patient with my students and give them the benefit of the doubt. There may be real, unintentional reasons for their performance. When necessary, I advocate direct guidance in the fulfillment of their tasks, or send reminders to hand in their assignments. I try not to label them too quickly and motivate them to get rid of their weaknesses, by telling them of the consequences or rewarding them when they do improve. Yes, God has indeed blessed me by giving me students who do more than the minimum in their studies. :) I have a student asking me for more homework than I usually give. :))

3. I show appreciation to my students who show an improvement in their performance, by verbal affirmation or tangible rewards. I also share it with their parents. Besides verbally encouraging the students, I motivated some of them by treating them to a meal so that they will be spurred on to study harder. I do feel especially sympathetic towards my China students, as they are celebrating CNY away from home and also, they may feel inferior to their local counterparts in terms of academic excellence.

Flexibility in dealing with students

I usually try to reward my students when they do well in their subjects, or motivate them to go on trying when they lose confidence.

I buy stationery or their favourite item for them, but I am going to do it in a different way this time. I am going to treat them. I was inspired to do so when I saw a teacher with her students at Jumbo Seafood Restaurant. I am going to meet 3 of my students on Wednesday, to give them a treat. I know it will make a difference to them. :)

Flexibility is important in educating youths. We must cater to their needs with different methods, depending on their characters and preferences. Using the same method for different students may not be effective for all of them, and resources are wasted in the process.

Teaching nuggets

These are some observations I have with regards to teaching:

1) We have to give chances to those who have blotched their earlier performances, so that they can redeem themselves. We may have to give them the benefit of the doubt at times and be gracious towards them too.

2) Technology is very useful in terms of English lessons. English is linked to general knowledge and I use my digital camera to take pictures in order to show my students what the world out there is like. I also give them my blog's URL so that they can learn more about current affairs as well as proper sentence structure. I email them examination tips nearer to their paper and converse with them via MSN on any queries they may have. I surf the Internet for stories or topics that are of interest to them, and then print the notes out for the lesson.

3) It is of no use sheltering the present generation from the facts of life, as they will still be exposed to it via dangerous means. They are different from the past batches of youths.

A case in point is sex education. Oftentimes we dread talking to them about it out of awkwardness but when we evade their curious questions, we may push them to search for their answers by exploring the topic through physical intimacy in a relationship. This creates social problems like unwanted pregnancies and STDs. I am fortunate to an avid reader, as my parents exposed me to it by giving me books to read. What about those who do not like to read?

When I mentioned lesbianism during a lesson, I was met with ignorant eyes. I chose to speak more about it instead of stopping short at the mere mention of it. This will give the impression that it is something that exists and will have to be exposed to someday. By concealing the true facts about it, curiosity is ignited and may be quenched using the wrong means. That would bring about a bigger problem. My method nips the problem in the bud.

Difficult to fathom

It is so strange how people who are in the same category as I cannot seem to think beyond themselves. Life is not easy, I admit that but sometimes we have to die to our own feelings and reach out to others. They clearly have needs to be fulfilled at the point in time, in order for the team to contribute effectively.

Also, their intensive knowledge puts them in the know about certain protocol that must be observed at certain times. Actually, even without such knowledge, the protocol must be observed. This lack of observance is an influence on others. I feel that the occupation we are in and the age we are compel us to be an example to the young. It is quite disappointing to note that sight I beheld.

Nitty-gritty thoughts

It's ironic how we complain that others are insensitive to our feelings out of harmless teasing, but we do exactly the same to others. I wonder if it's a subconscious venting of what we endured from others. It turns me off especially when the topic is on something significant and passionate to me.

Also, we tend to focus on our own needs and forget others'. We insist on having ours met. When they aren't, we criticise the people involved so badly regardless of respect due to the people. We forget that everyone has experiences he can teach and inspire us with. We reclaim our rights but sometimes it is better to forgo them for the sake of harmony.

Our perceptions of people based on clashes of opinions with them can cause us to be permanently biased towards them. We choose not to be open to their goodness, their humanity and warmth. It is not an easy attitude to take indeed, but we can try. We tend to look at their achievements and overlook their true character, which is really the gem of a person.

We may know the same person for a long time but as he gets older, certain things about him change and we are unused to them. However, we know we can always go back to the tight bond we share over the years. On the contrary, some others change for the worse and it disappoints me. There is lack of support and understanding towards certain decisions and it still surfaces despite the passage of time. Lack of sensitivity is also shown in the criticism, to the extent that negative body language is exuded amidst silence.

2008 was extraordinary.

Major events took place:

- Mum's demise

- Miracles

- God's outpouring of grace on me

- First trip without Mum(to Macau)

- Best friend's wedding
http://weddingsbydarrel.com/blog/107

- First trip with Sixteen Candles group(to Turkey)

- First camera
http://pseudofashionist.blogspot.com/

- First book written


- Learning how to upload photos to computer, so as to email them or to add them to my blogs.

EDITOR'S NOTE

You will notice that my entries have been jumbled up and are fewer too. I've started new blogs based on specific themes and transferred the relevant entries accordingly. I think it's more organized and easier for me to write specific topics in the relevant blogs. They can be accessed via the links on the right, on the main page of this blog.

Enjoy my blogs and do comment on them in the tagboard on this blog!! Just include which blog in the comments. Thanks.

There's always an easier way

Some realizations in the course of a lesson have affirmed my temperament for being a teacher. I may lack oral skills as compared to others but I must have confidence in my gifts to create rapport with students, to be a guiding force of patience. In a way, this line allows me to show love for students who may lack it in their families. It may be an unusual way but it is my way and my conscience is clear.

This student had avoided reading any more myths and legends because of the difficult language used to narrate them. I got some in a simpler language and when he saw the title of my notes, he exuded fear. I told him to just try reading them before concluding on their difficulty level. Praise God, he liked them and wanted more. I did get simpler versions after all! I was a little worried when he showed his initial reaction.

I plan to get notes on travelling and other countries' attractions for him as well. His knowledge will increase and his social adaptability may not diminish with these notes.

There is indeed a way to gain knowledge, as long as we think from a different angle. :)

Language can be misinterpreted and can ring annoyance

What is the true meaning of "reaction"? Does it mean only thought? I beg to differ. I think it includes action. Action leads from thought and both make up reaction. This from a Lit grad to an Eng grad.

Then again, perhaps it is the answer to a prayer.

I used to have confusion over why this friend of mine hates it when I say, "Whatever." Now that I've experienced it for myself, with someone saying it to me, I understand why and it does grate on the nerves. So I replied with what my best friend always says but in a different context, "If you say so." That probably got on his nerves too. Hah!

A leopard can never never change its spots

Self-righteousness and arrogance have reigned once again. We have more experiences than others, not to have the perogative to treat them condescendingly but to understand their lack of exposure and give them more time to learn about the world, as we have.

Also, their different perspectives does not make them any lesser than we are. There may be underlying circumstances behind their actions. Simplicity and naivety may be dominant due to age or family background.

Sometimes a dearth of consciousness in social presentation may result in impulsive speech. Instead of labelling, why not analyse the causes underneath the actions? What is common knowledge to one may not be to another. When there is a revelation, shouldn't the humility seen convey the above message?

Sometimes age belies the immaturity in thinking. The outburst was full of truth and I think the reflection is of others. Perhaps there should be a continuation of distance placed between self and others.

The opinion that others have not met expectations stems of arrogance. If there is proof of surpassing performance, which there has not been in previous attempts, then perhaps silence is golden. The previous attempts consist of accents too so where is the perogative to condescend? What exudes from within, which is divinely given, is more important than outward showmanship. Such deep stability and peace is meant for only certain people, definitely not for such arrogance which is an obstruction.

There are other reasons that cause expectations not to be met, like the failure of external factors that amplify already excellent performances. If comparison is brought into the picture, the participation in GEP is a far more superior qualification than mere nothingness. Science is definitely better than art in this case, even though I'm an Arts grad. Science encompassed education too, incidentally. Art never did. What is more, an Arts grad and an Education grad look up to Science. What else is there left to say?

I seriously dont care if the linguistic riddles are unravelled.

"Please", such a simple word so no excuses!

The coffee assistant who said he did not understand what the man was saying is bluffing, in my opinion. How can he not know what "please" is? True, he may not have met many polite customers but he is not that stupid right? Being taken aback by such courtesy is no excuse for showing such rudeness as well. It was injected with sarcasm as well. What a jerk!

His rudeness was further seen when he scolded a customer who tried to stand up for the polite man. So what if this took place in a coffeeshop? Does that mean that a cheap place cannot contain good manners? Who set this rule? The coffee assistant?

The pressures of sportsmen

Liu Xiang's withdrawal from his 110m hurdle race was all over the news and there were mixed reviews over his move.

There were fewer sympathizers with his predicament. Those who disregarded his feelings even questioned the authenticity of his injury. I think that was rather callous. I doubt he was a coward who did not want to lose in front of his countrymen. His injury was definitely causing him pain as apparent from the pictures. To quit in such a fashion is a form of courage and he was a hero. He ran the risk of being labelled in a negative way but went ahead with his decision. I believe he was the most affected of all when that move was carried out.

I know that the Chinese people have a deep love for their country and will even die for it. However, I think it is unfair to him to be expected to be paralyzed while running for China. I think he still has more chances to run for China in future with this withdrawal. If he had continued in the race, it would be the people's fault for making him paralyzed and he would not be able to compete in future. Who would be their athlete hero then? I can imagine the pressure, despondency and guilt he is facing at this moment. He had trained for the Olympics for 4 years and this had to happen to him. His injury had to flare up again. Poor him.

Sometimes people just focus on pointing their fingers at others without lifting their own. They obviously cannot do better in the same activity even if they want to lift their own. It is also seen in church politics and I know some people like that, sad to say.

My love affair with dogs

I fell in love with these canine lovelies when I was a kid and this love affair is still going strong. Every time I see one, I go all mushy and soft. Who can resist these adorable beings?

I have a few dogs in mind, which make me go weak in the knees. There's this brown and white pup with a black tail a few houses away, as well as a white dog a few houses away in the opposite direction. The latter seems to have human eyes that penetrate ur insides. A huskie and a brown dog with hair all over it are also some other dogs I always look for when I leave my house. The white dog and the brown dog are usually locked in their cages, thus restricting their movements and I really feel sad for them.

Singapore's first gold medal in 48 years

The victory ceremony for any Olympic event is my favourite part to watch. I feel the sense of pride and happiness that the winner feels as the national anthem is played. It is a tremendous and overwhelming feeling to win glory for your country and it does teach one humility too. The glory goes back to your country and is not for yourself, even as an individual medallist.

When the silver medals were presented by our very own Ng Ser Miang to our very own Singaporeans for the sport of table tennis, I felt that sense of nationalistic pride. He chose this particular sport to give the medals out too and obviously, it was arranged that he would give them to our heroines. He personally picked these foreign imports to come to our country and he has finally seen his plan come to fruition.

They may be born in China and some Singaporeans may feel it is really an all-China final, like the friend I mentioned in an earlier entry. However, is this really true? They are our citizens now and deserve our tribute. They gave glory to our country and put our name on the Olympic medal list. They fought hard for us. We are really not the only country which imports foreigners into our country and we can't really accuse them of being disloyal to their native country.

I think they may have had mixed feelings upon hearing their own national anthem played during the victory ceremony but actually representing another country. It must not be easy for them too.

I don't think they deprive the locals of places in the sports arena. They are Singaporeans too and Jiawei's tears at the Olympics when Tianwei beat the Korean girl in her match is testimony enough. All of them are doing their best for the country they are grateful to for having cultivated their talents. We should appreciate them.
Perhaps our locals are not good enough and the government is forced to import foreigners as a result. Hah!

I don't think China views us in a derogatory way because of our Foreign Talent Scheme. We are not the only country who does that. Korea and France do too. On the other hand, the Chinese girls are not being disloyal to China. They want a better life for their families and to earn a living. Isn't that what our ancestors did as immigrants to Singapore, whether Chinese, Malay or Indian?!

This reminds me of an article that was on this student who complained that China students deprive her of a scholarship. They work extra hard because they paid a lot to come here and also they are afraid to lose out to us, ironically. Shouldn't she take their presence as motivation to work even harder instead of putting the blame on them? Of course, if teachers favour them, local students are displeased but perhaps teachers are impressed by their attitudes?

Incidentally, Yining of China is pretty. Who can say that women with boyish hairstyles don't look as pretty as those with long hair? It is the facial features that define what pretty women are.

Complaining doesn't make situations better

I get irritated when people keep complaining about factors that are beyond their control. I don't know if it's a male desire to be in control of everything around them but if that can be done, what is God for then? Perhaps it is an outlet for venting their frustrations out but it cannot change things that happen. If their words can be magical enough to reverse the progression of things, then by all means go ahead and complain.

It is a choice we make to let things affect us positively or negatively. If it has to be the latter, then we try to see it in a positive way. For example, if we cannot tolerate noise or the selfish behaviour of others, we try to cultivate the patience to bear with it. This needs silence for a start. By complaining, we are letting it disrupt our inner stability and health, and some things are just not worth it. The worst thing is if we retain those things within us even after having complained about them. Then we constantly complain about them. That is a major irk.

Another way is to analyse the reason behind the occurrences. There may be a need for such things to happen and we try to understand it. It may be worse for the other person, we may find. Of course, I am learning to make the right choices too. I am not a sage in this area.

Where is the Olympic Spirit??

The Olympics has been hogging the headlines since its opening ceremony on 8th August. Some athletes unfortunately, have been displaying a lack of sportmanship by being sore losers when the results are announced. There was even an article on losers whining when China wins. Is this a case of seeing green?

Incidentally, the losers are from Western countries. Perhaps their Western superiority prevents them from being open to reality. The West cannot always dominate. It is not surprising that Asian nations have worked their way up the global ladder and become powerful in their own right too. China was a power to reckon with in chronological history as well. It is not just England or America which has imperialist plans. Call me naive but if there's no acceptance of our fellow humans' achievements which give glory to us as a planet, how is peace to be attained?

A Swedish member refused to accept his bronze medal when it was presented to him. He removed it from his neck and dropped it on the ground before walking off in a huff. Thankfully, there is justice and he has been disqualified. Of course, he cannot have his medal back.

Other participants claim the judges give away points to their Chinese opponents and contribute to their gold medals. Even the USA women's gymnastics team commented on the ages of their China opponents when they lost. Asians are smaller in body size than the Europeans. Obviously, they do not know that.

The China swimmer who had won a medal was also regarded with cynicism. She was suspected of having taken drugs to enhance her performance. There have been such scandals surrounding China in the previous Games but what proof is there to say that it is the same this time round? If that is the case, the Jamaican athlete who broke both world records in the 100m and 200m races should go for a drug test too. 10 seconds for the 100m race seems virtually impossible! What about Michael Phelps who has 8 gold medals from this year's Games? My point is that there is no proof that the swimmer took drugs just as there is no proof that Phelps and the Jamaican took drugs.

A bronze medal is still a medal and gives glory to the country. What about Singapore who has not won a medal for 48 years but faithfully sends participants to each Olympic Game? I don't see us producing sour grapes. Losing should induce improvement rather than criticism out of jealousy.

Also, the Chinese female gymnast who fell off her apparatus quelled her negative reaction and resumed her routine after getting back on. She put in more effort to redeem herself after that fatal mistake. This is in contrast to the US female gymnast who let her fall affect her subconscious and thus her subsequent performances. It is obvious who shows more strength of spirit here and the age of China's gymnastics team is thus not an issue. Even China's male gymnast redeemed himself by defeating his inner demons which caused him a medal at the last Olympics, and claiming the gold medal.

Now this lack of spirit is seen between Western countries too. An American athlete was so arrogant towards a Russian athlete and in the end, she was humbled when she lost out to the latter. Also, Britain and Australia are spewing snide and spiteful comments at each other. Each side is not happy whenever the other has won a medal and this is taken to greater extremes than the normal competitiveness seen in any sport. Such sore losers.

frustrated rantings

I detest self-righteous people but then again, I'm selective in my targets. I had a conversation the other day and some things I heard made me boil within.

Though people in the working world make certain taboo mistakes and get themselves into trouble with their superiors in the process, they should NOT be discriminated against when they need help from their colleagues to correct the dire situations. The desire to save one's own skin at the expense of being a witness to others for our God is not exactly laudable, is it?

Also, their nationality doesn't entitle us as locals to brand them in a negative manner. The students I've worked with and am working with, that are of that nationality, surpass some of our students, in terms of their attitude and effort towards their studies. This branding exudes a form of xenophobia, don't you think? When I mentioned that I have students of that nationality, my friend could not produce another negative comment about them. *smug look*

There have been articles on housewives and how they would get a very high salary for all the work they do, as well as how they are so much more than what people think of them. I have a friend who is one and she is a university graduate who worked for a while before she decided to be a full-time mother.

I think housewives are great. Most of our mothers are anyway. I am not saying this because I am a woman and I have just lost my mum. Think about it. They keep the house clean and have a piping hot meal on the table when their husbands come home after a hard day's work. They take care of the kids and give them a mother's love which is irreplaceable. They don't just leave their kids to domestic helpers who are not the mothers of the kids.

I don't deny that some housewives use the opportunity to laze around the house and even indulge in financially-draining activities like shopping for branded goods, having high tea at expensive hotels and having toy boys to be their companions, using their husband's hard-earned money. However, to stereotype ALL housewives as 'useless, uneducated and stupid' people is ludicrous and totally unacceptable. It reflects a microscopic point of view and a tendency to be petty by letting the black sheep affect one's general impression of the whole cohort.

There are men out there who have problems socialising with people but there ARE reasons for their inability. They may be lowly educated, have little exposure to society when younger, have a poor family background or have physical problems which may incapacitate their abilities. They DON'T deserve to be mocked at for being unable to get partners.

There are many reasons for being unable to get partners besides socializing problems and tactless manners. Attitudes and mindsets is another huge factor. The fact that one mocks another of the same gender for this lack of partners shows that there is pure arrogance and lack of compassion. This attitude plus the two mentioned above make one a potential target for being left on the shelf too, don't they? If only people realise that the plank in their eye is bigger than the speck in others', there would be less MALICIOUS gossip in the world. When people are in dire straits, they expect sympathy from others but once they have overcome these difficult moments, they forget that they were once in the same situations and look down on others who are now in difficult situations. These people render me speechless!

When I told my friend that poor family background may affect the ability to socialise, the reply was that others have dysfunctional families too and that's no excuse. I retorted that there should be no comparison as everyone is different. When I said that physical illnesses can affect the ability to socialise, that was my winning statement.

Latest update on my life

It has been so long since I've last written any entries. It has been 3 months! I guess I am just lazy at having to update my blog, though my initial purpose for doing so was to let my students read my thoughts on current affairs. Nowadays, I discuss it with them during lessons.

I have been busy reading the exhaustive number of books I bought as well as trying to meet the deadlines of my writing projects. :S My first book has come out and is being sold in Popular Bookshop. It is dedicated to my late mum who was the one who suggested this idea of freelance writing to me :D I've submitted my second manuscript and have 3 books left. My motivation for entering this line is to introduce societal concerns to students through my passages and questions. I hope to come up with a second blog on the books I've read. I want to share them with fellow bookworms around the world. Incidentally, I never fail to get books whenever I go to Page One at Vivocity. It has so many books in so many genres as well as multimedia, stationery and magazines.

I do hope to go back to Charismatic sessions at CTK. The last time I went for it was 3 months back. I miss going for it but I need to find the right time to do so.

It will take a long time for SG to reach courteous perfection

Rachael Stephan wrote a letter to lament on the lack of graces in our country and as a Singaporean, I can't help but agree with her, though with a sense of shame imbued within me as well. She narrated an occasion when she was left behind in the "stampede" for lift space in a mall. The offenders were not remorseful at all when admonished by her unjust self.

I am reminded of some extremely rude behaviour I encountered at J8 the other day. A female student was so enticed by her male friend that she just rushed past me while shouting his name in my ear(!) I was extremely annoyed by that self-centred and fanatical behaviour. She failed to realise that she had injured someone's ears in the process of her 'chase'. I made a comment to my friend, saying that if my hearing ability is ever compromised, it was definitely because of such callous and uncouth behaviour.

As the title of this entry goes, I don't know when Singapore will reach the standard of such basic courtesy. Our countless courtesy campaigns have obviously not worked with such people around. Perhaps more creativity can be shown towards educating our students in this area.

This cynicism I have does affect my attitude towards train commuters too. Due to my arthritis, it would be more ideal for me to sit down but as I told my friend while in the train, I really don't want to rush for seats with able-bodied commuters, since they will probably think I am pretending due to my young age. I did express my cynicism out loud after thanking this gracious mother for letting me have the seat instead.

I know I'm not making a big fuss out of the selfishness of Singaporeans. Look at the commuters who do not give up seats to those who really need to sit down, who flout the rules by eating on the train, who turn up the volume of their music players without using earphones, and who flaunt their flamboyant affection for their partners in public.

Another incident really repulses me. An ambulance driver was unfairly assaulted by two drivers for making them wait to move out of their parking spaces. He had parked his vehicle in such a way that it did not completely block their cars. If they are really good drivers, they would have seen that. He had a task to escort his patient to kidney dialysis at the nearby centre, and the ambulance had to be parked in front of the centre for the patient's inconvenience. Even if they were in a hurry, they could have politely asked the staff to get the ambulance moved away, instead of shouting at them and going a step further to hit them. Such uncouth people!

The ambulance driver was gracious and remarkable in not retaliating. He has a great sense of self-control. I agree with some things he said. The level of impatience shown indicates their "disability" in handling traffic situations. Also, such local drivers are very selfish. I hope the drivers get a harsh punishment for what they did.

Vulgarities in the army

There was a response to NS men spewing vulgarities at their superiors due to resentment and frustration. This act of insubordination leads to detention in the barracks or a monetary fine. There must be a reasonable explanation as to why this is treated so seriously.

In the response, this act was seen as no big issue. The dominant issue was to learn how to fight instead. I beg to differ. The army also trains boys to be fine men, to be strong in character and this rule is one of the methods. Even if they can fight well, their vulgar speech just makes them barbarians. They would be just like animals.

Misadventures in school

A student complained that his teacher had hit him hard on the head with a book. I feel that he was just stressing on the fact that he had been abused by his teacher but had not revealed the reason for it. I believe his teacher had a valid reason for doing so.

I remember being hit on my knuckle with a ruler for failing my Chinese spelling and witnessing my teacher pulling my classmates' ears till they became red. I can see why this student complained against his teacher. He probably felt he was being unfairly treated.

Having become a teacher now, I know that we do not just carry out physical punishment for no reason. It must have been sparked off by the student's misbehaviour.

Age as a number

I'm the same age as Suzanne Sng and in her article on age, I have the same thoughts as she has concerning it. I can be comfortably childish around people and not give any thought to their impression on me. I can also have views that reflect my age and experiences in my life that usually occur to much older people.

She mentioned her contemporaries not withholding their age from people and I too, feel there is no need to. However, it is because we look younger than our age and that is a blessing. I have people saying I look 16, 18 or 20 plus. She mentioned that a friend of hers enjoys shocking people with her age. I can almost empathise with it. Her colleague has problems at work because of it though. I too, have parents and agents doubting my age because I sound so young on the phone.

Indeed, sometimes I baulk at my younger friends in their 20s who complain they are already old due to their workload and commitments in life. I would be a dinosaur based on my age then! A friend in his 30s looked at me when he heard that. :P The threshold from 29 to 30 is harder to cross than those within the 20s or 30s. You feel as if you have aged a decade though it is really just a change in the first numeral. It is the significance behind it.

Cruel gestures

Hawaiian Airlines charged a lady $109 for her request to cancel a plane ticket. Her reason was extremely valid and understandable. Her mother had just passed away and obviously could not take the flight.

Their reason was due to administrative costs. I think they value profits above basic human relations. She had cancelled the hotel reservation too and was not charged anything by Delta. What does this say about the airline??

At the recent New Year countdown at Vivocity, Michelle Chia unknowingly showed what she was wearing underneath her mini dress. It was not any skimpy underwear though, as she had taken precautionary measures to ensure her modesty. Thus I don't see what the big issue is over her unintended exposure.

The fact that it was put on Youtube shows that the person saw it with voyeuristic intentions. Yes, she may have been featured on FHM as the sexiest female before but this gesture merely mocks her carelessness and turns it into a pornographic experience for this person. Though he gains pleasure from this, it is terribly callous of him to do it at her expense. She had not intended to be a source of sexual gratification for him and this makes him seem even more diabolical.

Quantas's almost costly mistake

The airline's engineers had pumped in nitrogen instead of oxygen into the oxygen tanks meant to be used by the pilots in the event of an emergency during the flight. If the pilots had indeed used them, they would have been in no condition to fly the plane to a place where the passengers would be safe and alive.

Violence personified

A few teenagers, one of them a girl, assaulted two young siblings for hogging the game box at a video game fair. If the siblings had indeed been playing for too long, they could have done the proper thing by complaining to the staff instead of taking things into their own hand. What gives them the right to do so? Age? The siblings are merely children, for goodness sake!

The video game must be so popular that they were willing to endure assault while playing it. I also wonder if the mother had ingrained the lesson of either escaping or seeking help when attacked properly, or else they would not have given such a casual reaction to her question. Best Denki could have also imposed a time limit on customers who wish to try the game out, so that more of them can do so. Though most game stores do not do so, being the exception is fine.

The backstabbing behind beauty contests

There was a recent case in the Miss Singapore India pageant where one of the contestants was accused of violating the rule of being unmarried. She was discovered to be married. Eventually, she showed proof of having her marriage annulled. Her critics were silenced.

Such jealousy in beauty contests is not a surprise. The competitiveness involved drives women to be self-centred and malicious. It is no wonder that I know of someone who has beauty and eloquence but refuses to join any beauty contests.

Academic qualifications are merely entry proofs

Some of the students at SJI Junior had not done very well in the PSLE Math paper and this made their parents unhappy. I feel that looking at things in the long-term future, it does not indicate that they will be failures in life.

Their Math grades may affect their secondary school postings but the school they go to does not determine their character and worth. I know of someone who went to a neighbourhood school but shone in there to hold various leadership positions. It was her hardworking and persevering attitude that got her up the ladder, even though she was in a "lousy" school.

Besides, the PSLE is merely the most basic of the various academic certificates in Singapore. It is the ITE certificate, polytechnic diploma or the university degree that will enable the student to get a good job. No one hires a PSLE graduate even if he has the highest aggregate score in the country. I think the parents had overlooked or even forgotten this point.

On another note, a university degree, regardless of whether it is a basic degree or a doctorate degree, can get you entry into a good job with a high salary and great benefits, but it is really the character and attitude that you have as a worker that is a gauge of your job performance.

I was hired to help out with administrative duties and data entry even though I am a Literature graduate. It certainly has nothing to do with commerce but what got me hired was my willingness to learn, according to what I was told. This is just one instance of how I had impressed my superior then.

Cheapskate workers at Shenton Way

A restaurant is offering free buffet meals to its customers out of goodwill. The owner allows them to donate whatever amount they feel comfortable in parting with. Unfortunately, his kind gesture is grossly taken advantage of. People donate $2 for a buffet that usually costs at least $20. Such cheapskates! They probably take the phrase "whatever amount you wish" literally, as if it is for a charity organization that is selling flags.

These people are mostly from the companies in Shenton Way. These same people usually spend a lot on clothes, makeup and accessories to make their working wardrobe more abundant so it is rather ironic that they can't pay $20 for a buffet, a price that is merely normal for such a widespread variety of dishes.

Caning in schools?

A student from my alma mater CHIJ St Joseph's Convent wrote in to comment that caning is futile because delinquency happens due to the probability of psychological problems. By administering it, one is disregarding this reason. I beg to differ.

Caning can be implemented together with counselling and may not be the sole method of handling delinquency. She may have thought wrongly that it is to be the sole method.

It may not help her understand the reasons behind the need to eradicate such misbehaviour but it is an effective deterrent against such acts. Fear is effective in this sense. This only goes to show that the school has the desire to protect their students from descending further into this regressive state. Yes, they learn best through the hard way but if they can be saved from such a painful path, out of love, the school will have done its job.

Has she considered that it can be the most serious mode of punishment to be implemented after other methods such as counselling have been used in vain? That is not taking the easy way out. It means many methods have been explored. Her argument in the last paragraph can be applied to this way of thinking too.

She claimed that many would turn immune to this mode of punishment after a while but I know that caning can break even the toughest youth when he is faced with the prospect of it. That is why our legal system administers it too. If it does, what makes her think that schools shouldn't?

I guess it's her young age that causes her to fail in considering these additional points of view with regards to this issue. My parents did this to me when I was younger and look how I've turned out. They have brought me up well and I owe my character to them. This junior of mine seems rather narrow-minded and pampered, as I have gathered from her views.

Another reader quoted from Dr Benjamin Spock in his letter about this issue. He realised he had been wrong all along about telling parents not to discipline their children. This famous child psychologist said, "We have reared a generation of brats." I wholeheartedly agree with him.

An obnoxious neighbour

My house overlooks the houses along the road behind mine. I was really irritated with this domestic helper who turns her radio on very loudly and sings along to it as well. Her voice is not exactly very melodious and it is jarring on the ears. My next door neighbour nicely told her to lower the volume and she did, but a few days later, she started her nonsense again.

This time, I couldn't be so patient with her anymore and I started banging on the windows as well as on my table. She heard it and lowered the volume, as well as stopped singing. She is not in a discotheque and has to consider that there are neighbours living close to her. Some types of music sound better if listened to loudly but there are other neighbours around, to reiterate. Then I sarcastically and loudly said that peace and quiet has reigned. Just today, I had to repeat this whole exchange with her. Now there is truly beautiful silence.

Good things don't last long. I had to endure this again on another 2 occasions. Besides repeating the above actions, I was forced to make impolite comments really loudly so that she could hear me above the music. I mentioned that it was very noisy and that it was the radio as the cause. When she didn't lower the volume, I remarked that it was because she didn't understand me in a condescending manner and that she lacked courtesy. She finally got it.

It's not always the fault of the salespeople

Liang Dingzi wrote on an encounter in a supermarket. He realised that a new salesgirl had not been properly trained by her superiors when she was clearly fumbling on the job. I do agree with his view. The management should also take the blame for her poor performance. Perhaps she was a slow learner or was not very open to the way the company did things. In that case, the company should not have put her immediately on the job or could have at least first put her with a more experienced salesperson to assist her.

In this time of Christmas shopping, customers abound and the existing salespeople will find it difficult to cope with their incessant demands. Thus, this may have been a reason to rush her into her job so soon. However, it will definitely backfire. She was ill-prepared and will not be able to be so quick on her toes as compared to the more experienced staff. Her lack of familiarity with the tasks will also cost her a level of efficiency in her service. She herself will feel embarrassed at her performance but who is she to blame her superiors for their untimely decision? They won't admit they were wrong. They have to maintain their 'face'.

Choose our heroes carefully and the benefit of writing in a journal

A poll carried out on British boys saw a quarter of them choosing footballers as their heroes rather than their own fathers. Though they gave the reasons as negligence and even abandonment by their fathers, this is still a shock.

They probably see only the good and victorious side of the footballers on television, how they help their teams to score goals and bring honour. Do they know that there is a seedy side to some of these heroes of theirs? Some are promiscuous and adulterous, being guilty of sexual assault and even rape. They make use of their fame to seduce teenage girls who foolishly fall for their charm and feel it is a privilege to be intimate with such stars. It happens even in our local scene, sad to say.

Sandra Leong introduced the art of venting one's feelings in a journal. I have been doing that since young and it is something intimate. Yes, it improves your thought processes and your ability to express your feelings, besides your language skills, but it also remains a secret between you and the persona in your diary. Some things are just too personal and private to write about in a public blog and to tell even your closest friends.

It is therapeutic in that you get to release your pent-up grievances but more importantly, as the journal is portable, you can turn to it at any moment, especially immediately after the incident has taken place. I have written in my journal just a minute after I had written in it earlier. The thoughts and feelings just keep flooding my insides....

Collision at T1 of the airport

A caller who talked to The New Paper spoke about the incident in a way which I question. He implied it wasn't a real emergency. If that wasn't, then what is? Two vehicles had collided with each other and resulted in three casualties. Is it one only when a terrorist attack or a building collapse takes place? It seems such a selfish and marrow-minded way to think.

My fanatical love for books

Valerie Tay wrote on her children falling in love with books and this holds true with me. I remember my parents leaving me at Times the Bookshop in Centrepoint for 2 hours when I was young. They wanted to cultivate in me an interest in reading and they have succeeded. I'm absolutely crazy over books even as an adult and my genres of reading have widened.

This contributes to my fluency in English and this result is what I keep trying to tell children, especially those who are not so proficient in English. They don't have to read genres they don't like. They can choose those they do like. In the process of pursuing their pleasures, they are unconsciously absorbing good language skills.

I am grateful for my parents' intention to cultivate in me a love for reading. It paid off really well. :)

Superiority of nationality

Cynthia Tan wrote in and commented on some blogs written by Singaporeans. They claimed that since our currency unit is very strong, we are superior. I think that is audacious and rather ignorant to think. Currencies fluctuate with economic changes and our currency unit may just become weak without us expecting it. Change is really the only permanence in life, as Keats's Ode To Autumn implies. This younger generation is obviously a spoilt cohort.

She also mentioned how education should make a person better in character and not just in intelligence. That is so true. I know of someone who embodies the concept of education not benefitting her character. It's rather sad that this person thinks others are worse than she is when she really is. There are different ways of being calculative, really. There's a difference between being thick-skinned and being uncomfortable with expressing oneself.

She noted most Singaporeans react badly to criticism and I agree with her. I believe this person I know is like that and so I don't bother to lash back at her when she criticises me. I just don't take it to heart though it is unfair. Why let evil control you by doing the same? I thank Tiffany for teaching me this and I'm humbled as she is much younger than I am.

A'level graduates as relief teachers

Lu Cheng Yang, the Personnel Director of MOE, is very open to employing A'level graduates as relief teachers. He was responding to a letter from Mr Fok Kah Hon who had seemed to be unhappy with such relief teachers. He mentioned that such teachers usually go back to their alma maters to teach.

I think that places them in good stead because they are already familiar with the school's way of doing things and can thus address any concerns the present students may have over it. As former students, the present students will give them more attention and hence better understand why certain procedures are carried out. Their personal experiences can be shared with the present students to better aid them in their explanations.

I have a friend who went to another school to teach after her A'levels and the students respected and liked her. Her character enabled her to create a rapport with them as well as gain their respect. To generalise all A'level graduates based on their age is rather judgemental. Some individuals stand on their own as positive models.

Schoolchildren oppressed by their schoolbags

Schoolchildren with heavy backpacks literally weighing them down deserve pity. I think they probably bring all their books with them every single day without following their timetable. This is the result of 'kiasu-ism'. This will inevitably cause their backs to be affected in the long run, since they seem to be bending under the weight. They do pose a danger to others too when they turn around too quickly. Their bags can hit others and injure them.

Feedback on Noelle's article

A parent wrote in to give his take on the local education system from a fellow foreigner's perspective.

His son was told by his teachers that "his Mandarin was poor (and he has to) catch up with the school standard". What a joke! He had taken Higher Mandarin in China. China is the native country of the language and our country employs teachers from China to teach our students the language. How can "his Mandarin (be) poor"?!

Also, the boy was told that "he had not had any proper education for the past five years" and this is the cause of his undesirable grade in a particular subject. How can another country's education be so negatively commented on? China has its benefits too and the citizens aren't all that stupid. It is an insult to the boy's country of birth. I wonder how he had felt. Though its medium of learning is Mandarin, their education system can't be all that bad.

These two cases only serve to illustrate how some of our teachers can be so insensitive and tactless. Arrogance and distastefulness are also some other words that come to mind. I hope that these black sheep don't affect foreigners' perceptions of our teachers. There are some extraordinary ones and no, I'm not referring to myself.

A P5 student actually wrote in to comment on this too. His view will stand strong because it is from the horse's mouth. I'm glad he decided to write in.

I feel he's blessed to have such a good English teacher who gives clear explanations for his marking scheme in compositions. His Math and Science teachers have obviously taught him so well that he is inspired to write about them. I completely agree with his comment on the system: "...a system should not be blamed in case one particular student is unable to cope."

Ho Kong Loon, a retired teacher, wrote about this article too. He says our system advocate authority and conformity. Yes, I could not fathom having anything else other than respect for my teachers. It took some time for me to see my university lecturers as friends too.

Conformity can be associated with rigidity in answering questions. It was Literature which I majored in, that allowed me to accept the possibility of using different texts for a set essay question. I was assured that I did not need to use the recommended texts and that as long as my texts were relevant to the question, and I provided convincing and sensible arguments in my answer, they were considered acceptable.

One teacher will find it challenging to handle forty students at one go and that is where home tuition comes in. Its one-to-one approach gives weaker students who find it difficult to understand or catch up with school lessons, personalized teaching. The students may not dare to ask questions in class too and so here, opportunities are presented for them to do so with fewer qualms.

The letter sees him as a defender of our system, with loyal feelings towards it. I get the impression that he is saying that since Noelle can afford to send her kids to an international school, she should have done so at the start. He also ends his letter rather convictedly, implying that our system is far superior to others, as it is more "serious" and practical in its focus. He seems to be undermining and subtly mocking other systems.

Expatriate children adjusting to the local education system

Noelle De Jesus lamented about our schools' methods of learning in Weekend Today. I do agree with her in certain aspects.

"Why can't they take Mandarin as a foreign language?" That is so true, especially for expatriate children. The local children take German, French or Japanese as a foreign language, so why can't these children take Mandarin in the same context too? They are foreigners and though they should try to fit into the system, since they are in our country, it won't hurt to give them the option of taking Mandarin as a foreign language. Local students are allowed to take Chinese Basic for the O'levels, if I'm not mistaken. Why shouldn't this alternate situation materialise for expat children?

The marking scheme in schools is rather rigid in certain cases. If unusual but "grammatically correct" sentences are used in a piece of work, they are marked as incorrect. Compositions especially, are supposed to evoke creativity in the students but where is the creativity allowed in their marking? Quite ironic, don't you think?

From my experience as a tutor, comprehension cloze passages too, suffer a similar fate. Answers outside the given set of words are not accepted as correct, even though they make sense and fit into the structure of the passages. What is there left to say?

Teachers seem not to be open to curiosity in students. The author's son was merely clarifying his doubts, since he had problems understanding the way certain things were taught here. For that, he was seen as a "trouble-maker"? That's rather narrow-minded and superficial, I feel.

I remember being made to feel stupid as a student when I wanted to clarify what I didn't understand. Other students had no problems but I was a slow learner especially in Math. This fear of asking questions accompanied me to my degree level and it took some coaxing and assurance from my lecturers before I was courageous enough to learn to ask questions again. Thank goodness I did or else I wouldn't have obtained my degree!

He was also not given a chance by his teacher to give his point of view when he was framed as a bully by his so-called friends. So he just resignedly allowed himself to be accused. What does that say about our teachers in general? I hope this is just an isolated case.

I disagree with her in terms of how she feels about the root problem of our education system. The high teacher-student ratio happens because there are insufficient teachers who are willing to give their hearts to our future generation, and this stems from the rebellious children they have to deal with. No matter how hard they try, their efforts go unappreciated and they feel they are fighting a losing battle. I was a relief teacher and so I understand this feeling.

Of course, it is not the children's fault. Such children are the products of parents who place work commitments over their children's development. A line between supporting the family and not spending enough time with their children has to be drawn. Thus, the neglected children turn to the media or bad company to fill their void of loneliness and unwittingly get imbued with the inherent values in these alternative sources. So there's a reason why the ratio is so low.

I'm reminded of an episode from CSI:Miami where the mother was busy working and hired a teenage baby-sitter to take care of her child. She didn't even want to carry the child and wasn't very concerned when her child was involved in a crossfire incident. That is so sad. This scenario isn't just limited to fiction. It happens in reality. I hope Singapore doesn't reach this level.

Interpretation of meaning via language translation

Hey! Gorgeous's winner was criticized for giving the wrong answer to the question of who the Minister Mentor was. He had misinterpreted the question as "Who is the Senior Minister?" and instead of answering, "Lee Kuan Yew.", he answered, "Goh Chok Tong.". He is more proficient in English and translated the question posed to him in Mandarin into English before answering it. The translation process had gone wrong due to his misinterpretation.

Other contestants had incorrectly answered other general knowledge questions as well.

To label them as 'brainless' though is rather harsh. The critics are probably more proficient in Mandarin. As an English graduate, I would have problems interpreting the question too.

On the other hand, the name of the programme gave the impression that it was based on looks. The whole process of looking for suitable candidates affirmed this.

Audaciously editing the answers of PSLE Tamil scripts

A teacher had changed the answers of 3 Tamil scripts and this secret was exposed by an alert person. This was a very daring act on the part of the teacher.

I was discussing this exposed secret with Frances. We analysed the reasons behind the teacher's deed. Perhaps she was trying to help the students pass or do well in the subject out of pity or favouritism for them. That may be a good intention but the method of doing so is evil. Thus this is evil personified, a lesson I learnt at my choir retreat. Besides, she can't tide them over all their lives. They have to ultimately sit for future exams on their own. She is really teaching them how to cheat and is a disgrace to the teaching industry.

Frances feels that it may be the parents of the students that had bribed the teacher to do so. I'm open to that theory. If they had wanted their children to be promoted to secondary school and would do anything to achieve that aim, then they probably had no qualms in resorting to such a desperate means. That's even worse than pulling strings with the school. That is an immoral approach.

Also, it may satisfy the short-term goal but the children will have problems coping with the secondary school syllabus because they may have needed more time than others to prepare themselves for it, by learning the subject for another year. It's fine if your children are slower learners. It doesn't make them stupid or anything. I obtained my Honours degree in a longer time as compared to others but I still attained it in the end. I just needed more time to understand my subjects. I'm still a university graduate. This mindset of children not being smart if they take a longer time to learn is rather narrow-minded.

Opinion on trishaw uncle being bullied

Ju-len, a star blogger, implied that such a thing is part of life in his blog. That doesn't make it right. His antics are less harmful as compared to what the trishaw uncle went through. They weren't directly inflicted on a human. So what if fun was the ultimate purpose? It is at the expense of elements outside oneself and that constitutes selfishness.

Courage for a better reality

Mr Lim Swee Say advocated loyalty in the working world and received an opposing viewpoint after that. Yes, this particular world is utilitarian in nature and is ruled by intense competition. Survival of the fittest, or the most talented for that matter, is the motto. Our moral principles and integrity can give way. However, I feel Mr Lim is brave to ask Singaporeans to go back to our humanity. I'm sure he is aware of the harshness of the world out there but he still made that request. He is the living voice of hope and belief in a long-forgotten state of goodness, in a world of greed and ambition, dead to purity and morality.

Schools' reactions to Click Five's visit

A recent furore over this boyband's visit to Singapore was reported in the Sunday Times. Being an alumnus of one of the schools, I am not agreeable with the principal's decision of having allowed the boyband to visit the school. The reason is because it clashes with the values the school is supposed to inculcate in its students. 'Simple in Virtue' embodies the trait of simplicity in mindset. The students' excessive boy-crazy fanaticism towards the band members when they came to the school is unbecoming and contrary to the school's motto. If the band weren't allowed to visit, there would be fewer opportunities in allowing the school's values to be eroded within the students.

On the contrary, PLMGS's principal rejected the request to let the band visit her school. I applaud that move because it shows that she takes the mission of retaining the school's values in the students seriously enough, and she blatantly stated it too. That takes courage, to go against the mass and her popularity with the students. She is really standing up for the proper values in life. The students are unfortunately too narrow-minded and immature to see the good she really means by this move, as an alumnus wrote.

Of course, this is my personal opinion but at the same time, I am writing it as a former student of my own school.

The gradual loss of finding joy in reading

I was reading an article on visual versus verbal learning. It mentioned how children prefer to use the Internet and watch television, as compared to reading. As a result, their attention span and concentration suffer. Reading requires patience to finish the book, as it continues to state.

I fear that this has happened to me. I have books I haven't even started to read and which I bought rather impulsively, now that I think about it. I have another one in mind. It is about the 1960s seen through Barbie's eyes. She is portrayed as a photographer in it. I love nostalgic books or material. Oh well.

Now I've started watching television shows, music videos and movies off the Internet. I just watched Princess Diaries 2, The Sound of Music, and episodes of Charmed, Bewitched as well as Golden Girls.

I hope I can rectify this problem and curb this habit. It's still able to be salvaged. When you are aware of the fact that you are falling into something, it means you want to get out of it because you know it's not good. Wish me luck!

Followup on arrogance being a terrible flaw

Letters have been written in response to the incident of some parents making a scene over their sons' performances in the P6 Math Prelim paper of a school. Most are against the parents' attitude but one of the parents actually wrote in as well. Hah!

He claimed Santokh Singh doesn't know what is going on for the whole incident. This seems a irony because the parents don't know what pressures the teachers face and the academic syllabus they follow as well. This however, doesn't hinder them from wanting to have a say in the methods of teaching P6 Math by the school.

If you really think about it, Santokh Singh, being an outsider, is more objective and can view the incident from a wider basis. He has no biases to taint his perspectives. He can see things which the parents or school staff can't.

Arrogance is a terrible flaw

The New Paper reported on some parents expressing extreme dissatisfaction over their sons' performance in the Math paper for the P6 Prelims. They even wanted a say in how the teachers at the school taught the subject.

Seriously, my sentiments are that they are not in MOE so they have no right to do so. As Santokh Singh wrote, they should learn to trust the teachers who are qualified and experienced. Just because they are educated and some are in the banking or finance arenas, it doesn't give them this perogative to even have this desire.

This is not the first time that parents have complained about the exams. This time though, it just takes the cake that they want a say in the teaching methods. Arrogance is in full force here.

Norms in conversations

When you listen carefully to how people interact with one another, it can be startling and dismaying too. It has become the norm even among the decent ones to use uncouth words like "s***" and "h***". I categorise these two words as "uncouth" because they are used out of their original contexts to express frustration and unhappiness. I'm not even taking into account the ultimate word of "f***" here, which is a purely contrived word, unlike the two words above which have their own contexts. This is certainly a vulgarity, nothing to argue about.

Uncouth words extend to dialects and other languages too. I'm sure Chinese, Malay and Tamil have their lists too, as well as Hokkien, Teochew and the other dialects. I presume the users think it is trendy to pepper their speeches with such words but it really just makes them look uncouth.

Another norm in conversations is the inability to check the tone used when speaking. Varying tones can have lasting effects on the listeners, especially on sensitive ones. Coupled with volume, this lethal combination can either cut through their hearts like a knife or soothe their weary spirits like a balm. Self-awareness, self-control and putting yourself in the other person's shoes are ways to avoid such verbal injuries.

Doggie-land

I have 2 dogs to play with each time I go for 2 particular lessons.

One is a Beagle and is extremely noisy. Last week, it dragged my bag from the chair, by its handle and took my tissue packet from it. I had to wrestle the tissue packet from it but I had a near-scare when it got entangled with the bag's handle. I feared more for its life than for my bag. If it got strangled by the handle, I wouldn't be able to live it down. I tried to gently remove the handle but I couldn't . Thank goodness, the maid removed its leash so it was free of the bag.

Another is a snowy-white and furry Maltese who likes to play. It jumps and wags its tail with its tongue hanging out of its mouth. It is extremely adorable.

I also pass by dogs on my way home. I see a Siberian Husky, a sausage Beagle and two Alsatians among others. :)

My student had to do research on the unusual. She told me about the world's biggest dog Gibson, who lives in USA and is a Great Dane. He's absolutely adorable and well-behaved when he has to travel by plane to talkshows or radioshows in different states. He's actually taller than Shaquile O'Neal, the basketballer when he stands on 2 legs.

A light moment

I do take a cab home at times and when my friend's mum sent me home, I actually instinctively turned to my bag, intending to take my wallet out to pay her. I had thought I was in a cab. It was such an amusing moment when I realised it. She and my friend burst out laughing too when I told them about it. Hahaha. :P

Achieving dreams

The next day, a choirmate spoke to me about a course that enables me to feel motivated to achieve my lifelong dreams instead of just sitting on them. Somehow it awakened the desire to face my fears in me.

The heart of authority by John Bittleston

I lift this entire paragraph from his article which was published in Today. I think it is rather self-explanatory and it implies my stand as to how to implement authority, from a teacher's perspective.

'True authority is achieved as a result of respect. Coerced authority is transient, ineffective and immoral. The Genghis Khans of this world can command a certain, reluctant obedience for a time but it is grudging, short-lived and minimally efficient. Often it rebounds on the perpetrator in a very unhappy and unexpected way.'

I would still like to add some thoughts to it though. Being inclined towards SOLELY using the 'stick approach' in dealing with students can gain their respect but it is one born out of FEAR and NOT FULL willingness to co-operate. It WILL WEAR OFF sooner or later and things will go back to square one. The teacher will have to start gaining the students' respect all over again.

Boost school rankings by ensuring high grades in all subjects

Some schools have encouraged students who do not fare as well as others in certain subjects, to drop the subjects. That seems to be making choices for the students and having prior assumptions towards their eventual grades in the major exams. This is rather unfair, isn't it?

Yes, the school teachers may have been using their earlier grades as a gauge but they cannot foretell how the students will do for the subjects in future. There is a possibility that the students may just need more time to grasp the subjects and they will fare better in the future tests or exams. Aren't they giving up hope too soon on the students and demoralizing them in the process?

They probably think they are saving the students from laying eyes on the failing marks in those subjects in their report books. This brings them back to the act of making prior assumptions towards how their students will fare for the subjects in the exams.

They evidently seem to think that they know what is best for their students, since they are teachers, but they are really ignoring their students' voices. After all, it is the students who will sit for the papers and whose lives that are at stake here.

When I was a student, my teachers never once brought up the matter of dropping my poor subjects. They continued being there to patiently answer my questions and even gave me pep talks, encouraging me to believe that I could eventually pass my subjects. I did and am grateful to them for not ever giving up on me.

What has happened to the education system with time? Are the schools just too caught up in climbing the ranks and producing good statistical results, at the expense of their students' morale and passions?

Beauty Queens?

Edwin Yeo wrote a tongue-in-cheek article on women interested in joining beauty pageants. His answers to the questions for semi-finalists are certainly humorous but I wonder what reactions he will get from such ladies. Some of them may think he has a sense of condescension towards their intelligence level.

Our local contestants are not exactly known for their looks in comparison to those from other nations. They shine in their mental faculties however. Some of them hold academic qualifications and jobs which demonstrate their aptitudes.

I would like to point out that one former beauty queen has both brains and beauty. Eunice Olsen is now a Member of Parliament, is musically inclined, sporty and compassionate towards charitable purposes as well.

Stomp's attention-grabbing scene

Citizens who try to be civic-conscious take photographs to highlight certain occurrences in society. One of it is the couple who kissed each other full on the mouth for a period of time, while they were on the MRT. That is utterly inconsiderate of the couple. Obviously, they were trying to get attention from others around them, even if it is of the negative kind. They felt a thrill from making others feel repulsed by their act. That is what sadism really means.

If they are deeply in love, it is really for the two of them to express their feelings to each other. They aren't in love with people around them, are they? They can easily do whatever they wish to with each other at their homes. It also shows a lack of self-control within themselves and most people will not feel any happier for them when they give in to their feelings. Perhaps they are practising for the Longest Kiss Contest?

Basically, people won't bother as to whether they are in love with each other or getting married to each other. Real life is not like what we see on TV. People won't applaud them for being bold in expressing their feelings or loving towards each other. They have their own preoccupations to fill their minds.

They may claim that others around them are being intrusive and that it is none of the people's business as to what they do with each other. However, they are being a public nuisance in what they did, or else they wouldn't have been on Stomp's website, would they?

Encounters of youths in society

There were quotes from youths as to their usage of computers and the Internet. One of them says that she keeps her computer on every minute and it has become a habit for her to do so. Doesn't she realise that it saves electricity to turn the computer off when she isn't using it? She is taking her parents' wealth for granted. As long as they can continue paying the bills, she doesn't care at all.

A PLMGS girl had a negative experience with the imposition of its school rules. The school has always been particular in the hairstyles of its girls. I remember something like the girls having to either leave short hair which is above their blouses' collars, or to neatly tie their long hair up. I find this rule even stricter than that of my IJ school's rule, in terms of what constitutes short hair. After all, how do you tie up hair that is just below the collar? There isn't much to form into a ponytail.

I think that the school was being too rigid and inflexible in its dealings towards the Malay girl. Sometimes the race and genetics of a person determines her appearance. Even after her mother verified that her hair colour was hereditary, the school refused to back down on its option of getting her to dye her hair. I feel that the school should start to re-examine its outdated rules and move with the scientific advances that affect a person's looks. After all, the reason was certainly valid and a person's appearance doesn't define her overall self.

I do understand that the school doesn't want its students to emphasise excessively on their looks, what with the latest fashion trends prevalent around them. However, I strongly agree with what the girl's mum said, that it should give more focus to preparing students mentally for their examinations instead. Anyway, the girl's hair was brown and not purple or green. Brown's a natural hair colour.

A girl was allegedly expelled from her school for unruly hair. That is not a just reason for the action. The principal refused to take any calls for clarification from the media and then claimed that it had been a misunderstanding. I think he probably retracted his decision out of social pressure after the report in the newspapers. He obviously thinks his decision is still right, as he apologised for his staff and not for himself. It seems that he is shifting blame to them. What a man.

Still, there are loose ends to this matter, as brought up by her mother. The school could have given a solution to the problem instead of carrying out such a drastic measure. I like IJ Toa Payoh's principal's way of handling an inappropriate uniform. The unreasonable principal should take a leaf out of this principal's book. Also, it is strange how her mother was not notified upon her repeated flouting and how no calls from the school were made to the family during the three days she was absent. Lastly, there is a contradiction in what the school claims about the girl's case and her actual habits. She allegedly had very long fingernails but she has a habit of chewing her nails. Is she being picked on as a sacrificial victim by the staff who are under work pressure?

Stomp's countdown of citizens' journalistic spotlights

Two photos featured on Stomp's website incite some indignation in me, despite humans' perogative to their viewpoints.

The illegal CNY decorations done at a block of flats were seen as artistic creativity when they really constitute vandalism. Artistic creativity belongs on the canvas or in legal forms of artistic manifestation.

The gold 'ang bao' sold by a restaurant at Toa Payoh had a couplet referring to sexual activity. Some views were that it was nothing to be uptight about but seriously, 'ang baos' are given more to younger children than unmarried adults or senior citizens.

The former may think that this greeting is something they can spew at everyone they meet during the season, since it is on an 'ang bao'. It will affect people's perception of them and their parents' way of educating them. Adults may just laugh it off but what about the elderly who receive it? I doubt they will not be offended by the greeting. Have those 24 people thought about all these before accusing the sender of not "loosening up"?!

Stomp also held a poll on the idea of imposing fines on those who use their handphones while crossing the road. One of the views was to educate instead of imposing fines. Education may not work because people can let their stubborn attitudes rule their choice to shut out the dogma of this issue. As the saying goes: you can bring a horse to the water but you cannot force the horse to drink it. Fines would seem a better deterrent. After all, this may appeal to the 'kiasu-ism' of Singaporeans.

Politicians versus individuals

This is my first entry on inter-relation politics but I don't mean to criticise the country involved. It's really just my two cents' worth on this issue.

Thailand is unhappy over Singapore's welcome extended towards Thaksin when he visited. Thaksin has not been willingly embraced by his own country over his method of governing and Thailand feels that Singapore is jeopardising its relations with it by welcoming him.

If only Thailand is willing to see that we are all individuals on the face of this earth and like Singapore, see Thaksin as one too, this issue wouldn't be occurring. Singapore is just welcoming its friend to its country. That's actually rather fine.

Incessantly annoying queries brought by Chinese New Year

An article on Chinese New Year reunion dinners and the inquiries by relatives on one's life in the midst, injected some long-overdue humour into the act of trying to avoid those inquiries in a firm but non-offensive manner.

The question about scoring worse than one's cousins in examinations can be countered at the expense of one's cousins, by joking that bribery was employed in the process. This should shut the relatives up. Marriage is another sensitive topic to bring up and the way to rebutt the relatives is to assure them that an order for a celebrity's clone has been placed and will be delivered soon. Such a ruckus this will produce, I'm sure. Weight gain is on everyone's lips nowadays and using science to justify it is a sure tactic to answering this query.

Personally, I think the last strategy, on weight gain, is the most suitable to employ, so as not to create any impression of insolence on the elders. Still, this article gives a good and interesting laugh. :)

Learning Taiwanese Literature with a twist and single-sex classes in USA

A Taiwanese teacher used popular singer Jay Chou's songs to set a Literature exam paper for her students. Most of them failed the paper and there were protests against it. One of them was found on a student's website as follows: "I flunked, thanks to that stupid Jay Chou!" I wonder what Jay Chou himself thinks of this. He must be either amused, flattered or apologetic, I reckon.

As a Literature major and tutor, I admire her innovation in coming up with such questions. The songs were reproduced in full so that the questions could be answered more easily, with reference to them. Thus it was a matter of applying one's knowledge of literary concepts to the questions.

She was merely trying to make Literature more accessible to her students. The format was somewhat like the unseen prose section in the O'level paper, where any text can be used as a contextual question. She used university students' work to come up with the idea, a form of intertextuality really. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with this act of hers really.

Splitting the genders when it comes to learning is beneficial because males and females operate in different ways. Also, there will be no unforseen distractions of romantic relationships being formed between them when classes are conducted. However, ultimately as they mature in age, they will be placed together in classes in higher institutions of learning. This is inevitable. One must note though that it is really up to the individual to possess the ability to cope with such distractions while learning.

Someone I know wanted to prevent his son from encountering such distractions during his secondary school life, as he felt his son was still not mature enough to be exposed to boy-girl relationships. Thus, he placed his son in a single-sex school which is situated at the other end of the country, causing his son to be obliged to wake up very early in the morning so as to reach his school on time.

He could have placed his son in a mixed school which is so much nearer to his home, and hence eliminate unnecessary travelling time. I feel that in this case, it does not really make a difference if his son is exposed to the other gender early in life, since his son will ultimately have to encounter them sooner or later. It is really practicality that should have ruled his decision in this case.

Making a mockery out of our courtesy campaign

Tiah Kiang Choon wrote an article on the selfish attitudes of Singaporeans. I have experienced it first-hand as well and it does annoy me too.

When I want to move further in while on the bus so as to make way for those boarding, I am obstructed by alien attitudes which think otherwise. Thankfully, I can move to the centre while on the MRT train. If I stay at the door, I make sure I tiptoe while standing at this side so people can enter more easily.

The 'aliens' around me however, seem to be in their own worlds. This couple turned on loudly their extremely annoying techno music in the bus. I have no right to assess their choice of music but they don't exactly have to show the world what they listen to. They are not on a mission to convert more listeners, are they?! Some students, either the elite-sounding in their influenced accented English or the uncouth boyish-but-trying-to-sound-manly voices, fill the bus with their loud voices and what is worse, they think they are giving a 'cool' impression of themselves.

On the MRT train, my considerate gestures are squashed by some obnoxious people who lean on the poles which are really for people to put their hands on. Are their hands so delicate that they can't be plastered onto the poles?! Perhaps SMRT should put signs up asking people not to lean on the poles, in the trains. Then again, these offenders are probably illiterate, since most signs go unheeded anyway.

Queues are also another occurrence where people just want their own way. I was made to take a later turn when people just went in front of me while I was in a queue, on three occasions.

The first occurred in the taxi queue behind Junction 8 when this Japanese mother and her son did not let me have my turn. She may have been talking on her phone but that is no excuse. Thankfully, the Singaporeans behind her saw it and let me go first after that.

The second was when this hooligan-like male went in front of me in the ATM machine queue at Ang Mo Kio while the third was when this girl went in front of me to hail a cab outside Golden Hill Condominium. I was there first. Thank goodness the taxi driver was smart enough to stop for me and not her.

"Little ironies of Singapore"

Edwin Yeo wrote in his Wise Guy column about three things that had bugged him in 2006. Upon reading his article, I felt compelled to add some of my thoughts pertaining to it.

He mentioned people using packets of tissue paper to reserve places when they eat out. I recall this anecdote told to me about how a mother took a piece of tissue paper from a packet which was used to reserve the table, in order to use it to wipe her mouth. At that moment, the occupants of the table came back and saw her. As they stood behind, they were wondering at her gesture. It brought out a snigger in me.

Instead of having the packet as a sign of reservation, it was used in its proper form. Their intention backfired but I think they should feel a tinge of shame after this incident. Lol.

Edwin Yeo then went on to mention annoying taxi drivers who charge unreasonably exorbitant fares on their passengers. I am grateful to note that not only has this scenario never happened to me but the taxi drivers I encounter also give me respect. They know when I want to be with my thoughts or work, and when I'm open to conversation. They don't go beyond my line of obnoxiousness when chatting with me. Some even offer me advice on how to live.

I recall a friendly driver who told me about his personal experiences and on how to judge a man of good character when intending to marry. He clarified with me that he only meant well by the conversation. Sometimes the conversations I hold with such drivers are interesting to have. :)

Ascending the career ladder

UK employers who participated in a survey indicated that weight and body shape is an essential determinant to gaining a promotion. They are of the opinion that slim workers are associated with attitudes of discipline, commitment and seriousness in their work.

I do hope that this view is not held by the employers on a global basis, as it is a sweeping and subjective view to have. I know of people who aren't slim and have established themselves in their respective career fields. A person's character and attitudes aren't determined by how they look!

I feel that if employers hold this view, their subordinates who have such positive attitudes but are not slim, will feel demoralized and start falling into this stereotype built on them. In that case, it is the employers themselves who will have singlehandedly caused that phenomenon, by virtue of their ignorant perceptions. Again, this serves to put external looks on an unnecessary pedestal and indeed, UK employees are embarking on diets to get ahead in their careers. What a sad thing to behold!

Can material goods be with us forever?

Song Kangping wrote to the New Paper about teenagers who are way too materialistic in their lifestyles. It struck a chord with me because I feel this way as well.

Those in affluent societies like Singapore are the ones who belong to this 'club'. The societal pressure has been so dominant that even people who are not financially stable desire to be in this 'club', unconsciously. They are envious of others and try to obtain whatever they see that others possess, without stopping to think as to whether they really need or will use that item. That's kind of foolish, isn't it? It makes them look like copycats and duplicating unoriginals. Have they ever wondered what others will think of them or are they just too caught up in the chase for the latest material trends??

Of course, not all teenagers are like that. There are some rare gems who are an exception. They are thrifty and think carefully before spending their money. They are not averse to taking advantage of the latest sales promotions and offers, so that they can save some money. It's sad to note that these people are the older teenagers.

Ultimately, the money most of them get for spending is from their parents' salaries and not their own. Though it's their allowance and they're entitled to spend it in whatever way they choose to, their choices makes them out to be either wise or foolish.

Simplicity is so wanting nowadays

Excitement has spread to relationships as well. Females demand candlelight dinners, diamond rings and bouquets of flowers from their partners. If a heart is truly full of love, even the simple and small things can match up to such extravagant gestures, as Mother Teresa said, "We can do small things with great love."

Where is the taste and appreciation for pure simplicity?!

Shops' interior architecture and housewives' brains

A Stomp photgraph showed a boutique with a shiny floor. That can cause the unintended outraged modesty of female patrons who wear skirts. The floor surface can reflect their undergarments as they walk. This will cause the business of the shop to be adversely affected, since the female customers will be afraid of venturing into it.

To have swanky architecture and give a trendy impression is one thing but to cross the boundary of indecent exposure is another. Unconscious knowledge will not be a valid reason when the prospect of legal confrontation awaits. It's best to practise caution when setting up a shop to prevent such sensitive issues from arising.

Tabitha Wang wrote on her perspective as a working housewife and I don't blame her for feeling indignantly infuriated towards the perceptions people have of her capability. Some housewives are graduates too, all you male chauvinists out there! People's brains don't just regress with a different way of using them! Do you think it is that easy being in charge of domestic affairs without a maid to assist you?? In fact, housewives have more time and energy to peruse the newspapers thoroughly and catch up on general knowledge via enriching television programmes, than those who hold jobs outside.

I salute Tabitha Wang's way of dealing with her client and it actually put him to shame, knowing that he had underestimated her abilities. Way to go, Tabitha!

Job prospects for Art grads

Ratna Tiwary wrote this really appealing article on Art graduates and here are my two cents' worth on it.

I am an Art graduate myself and am ashamed to say that I began looking for jobs only upon my graduation. I was too absorbed in trying to do well in my examinations. Thank God, I found a job which seemed perfect.

Yes, who says a degree can get you everywhere? It is only a passport to jobs and once you get a job, you have to start afresh in the working world. Dressing is definitely an important aspect of getting around in this world, what more when at interviews. As a private tutor, I still dress suitably when going for my first lesson with a new student. It makes an impression on the parent, besides the way I speak and act towards him or her.

She mentioned some students failing to complete assignments or choosing a degree based on reputation. These ill-disciplined students who think assignments aren't of any use, are probably taking advantage of tertiary education's independent and lax system, where the lecturers and tutors don't really badger the students if they fail to hand in their work. Eventually, these students are really the ones to bear the negative consequences of this lack of effort.

Some others pursue a major because it will provide them with a good income in future or cause others to envy them. That belittles the true essence of the degree, I feel. Their lack of authentic passion for it is an insult to graduates who pursue the degree out of genuine interest.